knew that everything has changed and cant turn back anymore

2008-08-11T13:32:00.001+08:00

2006-05-24T22:34:00.000+08:00

How lonely it feels when your world gets so small until it only revolves around One and when One is gone, you are taken aback at how things did change without you noticing. How friends you once hold so close to your heart grew apart due to your negligence. And the only thing you can do is stare into space, sulk and wishing for the better.

read this somewhere before? yeah it's taken from ruth's blog. it really

2005-12-15T22:49:00.000+08:00

sometimes u may think that u understand. but in fact, you dont.
well, perhaprs.

learn to look at things in different perspective, shirui.
its tiring for you, u know that.

but its so hard at times.
well, perharps.

anyway, some ppl just dont know how to use their brain to think. or maybe they just wan more attention from people. thats why create all sorts of trouble. think they are that "great". oh, so sad for this kind of people.

2005-12-12T20:36:00.000+08:00

town today..
din walk much.. was tired.. sorry to mei..
keep crapping when i dun even noe wat im toking.. we are like keep gek-ing each other.. she won.. coz she wana be a lawyer.. haha..
was suppose to go to the hospital.. but too tired..
homeee.

2005-12-10T20:33:00.000+08:00

din had a good night ytd.. only manage to fall aslp at ard 4 plus..
well, went out with bro in the afternoon.. he wanted to pay his credit card.. then he went to make spect.. so we walk ard.. hes like spending alot.. one watch tat cause abt 100 bucks.. faintt..
he wanted to buy for me also.. ask me choose.. wanted to buy the one tat i always wanted.. but too many ppl inside the shop so dun feel like going in.. in the end we bought two those big big kind which is less than 20 bucks.. haha.. one for him and one for me.. then bought a top.. think gonna buy a simple necklace to go along with it..
bro was going here and there looking for engagement ring for his gf.. he saw one which he think very nice.. which cost ard 800 plus to 900.. omg.. faint again.. then we went to eat and saw this long queue at basement for lucky draw thing.. nothing to do so we queue up also.. in the end got one m&m watch.. so total theres 4 watches now.. crapp.. then mum came to meet us then we went back together to wdls mart.. mum going genting tml with her frens.. so bought lots of maggi mee.. and back home..

2005-12-10T01:28:00.000+08:00

wanted to change to diary x. but sucks lah.. the entry part dont know for whatever reason theres problem..
just heard from huiming they going back on the 20 to play vball.. hahaha. ook. finee..
nothing much lately also.. so yeah.. go le.. bye..

2005-12-04T00:21:00.000+08:00

mum just told me monday father had to go to the hospital for checkup. his stomach not well these few days.
and i thought what when he keep coming out of his room last night.. and i just dont bother.. sigh.. need to wait for the checkup and see if theres anything wrong. mum say that there might be something growing inside it. pray hard that everything will be fine.. think will accompany them there early in the morning..
everything is really so different now.. gone-

2005-12-03T14:27:00.000+08:00

just realise that i din have the fun for a very long time.
one real laugh for a very long time.
this year gone by just too fast. the year is going to end. and people will start thinking back what have they done for the year. countless for them. yet for me. think think and think. my mind is blank totally. or maybe i can count it using my finger. tis isnt a good year for me. too much changes. too many thing gone just like that. just too much too many. sometimes i just cant take it. on my own, its just too much. oh i love this phrase. life just goes on. but sometimes i hate it just as much. why do we have to go on even its just so hard. what we gain in the end. one coffin? pathetic life.
one day i might just off my hp. not coming online. and be by myself for a few days. so when u cant reach me. dont worry.

2005-12-02T13:12:00.000+08:00

taken from e-mail.

A boy was born to a couple after eleven years of marriage. They were a loving couple and the boy was the gem of their eyes. When the boy was around two years old, one morning the husband saw a medicine bottle open. He was late for office so he asked his wife to cap the bottle and keep it in the cupboard.
His wife, preoccupied in the kitchen totally forgot the matter. The boy saw the bottle and playfully went to the bottle fascinated by its color and drank it all. It happened to be a poisonous medicine meant for adults in small dosages.
When the child collapsed the mother hurried him to the hospital. He died.
The mother was stunned. She was terrified how she was going to face her husband. When the distraught father came to the hospital and saw the dead child, he looked at his wife and uttered just five words.
> >> >> >QUESTIONS :1. What were the five words ?

2. What is the implication of this story?
Scroll down to read....

ANSWER :> >> >The husband just said "I am with you Darling". The husband's totally unexpected reaction is a proactive behavior. The child is dead. He can never be brought back to life. There is no point in finding fault with the mother.
Besides, if only he had taken time to keep the bottle away, this would not have happened. No one is to be blamed. She had also lost her only child. What she needed at that moment was consolation and sympathy from the husband. That is what he gave her.
If everyone can look at life with this kind of perspective,there would be much fewer problems in the world. "
" Take off all your envies,jealousies,unforgiveness, selfishness, and fears. And you will find things are actually not as difficult as you think. one long journey requires one single step.
MORAL OF THE STORY
This story is really worth reading. Sometimes we spend time in asking who is responsible or whom to blame, whether in a relationship, in a job or with the people we know. By this way we miss out some warmth in human relationship.
if only i could do the same, looking at things with different perspective. everything wouldnt hurt as much as it is now..

2005-11-28T23:19:00.000+08:00

write one whole chunk of story, but delete it in the end.. found it rubbish. hah.. im bored now.
in fact for the whole day.. mother woke me up to tidy things till late afternoon. my room is so empty now.. dun have the cosy feeling like old hse. so sian. the hse is like so dead sia.. brother not home today. sis not back yet from phuket. watch channel 8 7pm show with mother and father then to my room watch superfunkies and wu chu cai hong. so bored. at my old hse at least i will step in every part of the house once. and today. i realise that i never went into my mother hse for once. ahah. crap. ignore. oh, jiayi went back to ice lemon tea work le and din tell us. din contact me and zm for the past few days also. what is this. aha.

2005-11-26T23:04:00.000+08:00

tidying my table today.. clear all the books and notes.. finally..
then was so dusty coz me to have flu.. somemore so cold.. then headache.. omg.. so sian today.. just watch tv.. then spend the time doing the background and pic.. but seem so messy.. nvm.. nth else.. byebyee..

2005-11-21T23:17:00.000+08:00

ahhhhhh crap.. dont bother to read my previous entry.. just so arghh.. let it go..

i miss the times in court. i want to play volleyball!!

2005-11-21T20:32:00.000+08:00

what a day.. sucky.
whats with the past few days of studying and studying. yes. i admit i started late. but i studied the guide. doing the tys. studied the textbk. back to the guide again and again. but the qns in the o level is so damn hard. am i stupid or what. for not able to get the ans. or is it that i really din studied hard enough. sigh.. last year bio paper was much easier than tis year. and i got a D7 for it. what about this year. its goana be a E8 or even F9. so whats the point of everything in the end. perharps after all. i can only choose back the course im once posted to. so i have been wasting this year of my life away. and ppl will starting saying. start nagging. and blah. or maybe things isnt that bad. the result is not out yet. perharps theres miracle for me. perharps perharps. so i shall not think so much now. yeah. right.
after the paper went acc jiayi eat breakfast. then zm told us that he helping his fren work at woodlands mart there. so we went over. i know thats not the usual me at that time. i duno what happen also. perharps its the only way to hide everything. i duno what i been thinking now also. life is just so unfair to one. and another. struggle so hard, fight so hard. what do we gain in the end. life will be just a cycle which just goes on and goes. who 's goana seriously care about ur life. about you. where everyone have their own life to bother about. human nature? shit to it. maybe im just alone afterall.
pui. maybe im just toking nonsence. close to a day and a half of not slping.
how great if the day comes where i can just stay in my slp and never awake.

2005-11-19T21:34:00.000+08:00

update.. eh.. nth much also.. ytd went to find jiayi and zm after their paper for breakfast. then went watch harry potter. not bad lah.. its a show not to be miss mah.. haha.. then zm went cwp, me and jiayi stayed at coffee bean and study. she keep say very tired and din study much also. so went home not long after.
today eh. spend the whole day studying. on the meteror garden while i study. but i din watch it lah. just something to accompany me while i study. haha. bio eh.. so sucks one. so many things to memorise. esp those chim chim words. trying to memorise it is already a problem. haha. kk lahh.. online for awhile only. going off le. byebyee.

2005-11-13T17:46:00.000+08:00

ytd went northpoint with mei, coz duno wher to go.. haha.. then went safra bowling.. i dont know how to bowl lah.. mei keep tell me muz go straight.. but my ball still go the other way.. haha.. nvmm.. had fun.. den went northpoint.. played datona.. haha.. den went back cwp.. talktalk.. then she went to meet her mum.. and i went home.. so long din like this le ar.. =D

2005-11-11T01:59:00.002+08:00

did some maths just now. cant take it le so come here. so lame. on the comp just to blog. but yeah. actually wanna blog much earlier on. but nth much to blog. so now. ya.
tml maths paper 2.. paper 1 was alright.. but guess alot of careless mistake.. i duno. pray hard tml will be alright. im confident. yeah i am. but something seem to be wrong somewhere..
yeah. i want to watch lots and lots of movies. sigh.. but after o think those movie will be gone already.. i bring this upon myself.. last year dun wan study hard lah. now then suffer. pui..
i keep thinking my life is in a total mess now sia.. i duno. but quite long ago chatting with zm jiayi. our thoughts and so.. all like so sad.. zm seldom mix with the school ppl he used to know le.. his reason.. more trust on outside fren.. more common topic and blah.. its like.. frens for so long.. yeahh.. so ppl will just change with the environment they are in.. the frens they are mixing with.. thats true that nothing last forever.. i dont deny.. what i still believe is the willingness to improve or maintain in any relation.. we all are moving to a different stage in our life now.. im still glad that some of the frens whom i know still care even if much lesser contact now.. they will still care about my o level and such.. i know that life will be better when i enter into poly.. but like how big the difference is going to be.. i can say that there wun be much difference.. in this world now.. its really hard to find ppl that you can really trust on.. and even if you think that he/she is the one you can trust on.. your closest friend.. in the end.. they still do the things that hurt you.. soo who can u really trust.. its hard to get to noe a new fren all over again.. getting to understand each other.. and such.. i do.. still treasure my old fren lots.. esp my mei.. maybe i have say tis alot of times le.. but im going to say it once again.. she have been there when i need.. shes the one who really make me realise whats friends are for.. what a friend can do.. u all can say that last time im really good with ql.. but one thing i can say.. we are indeed very good on the surface.. but deep down.. we nve really chat abt our problems before.. for 8 or 9 years we know each other.. i still feel that i dun understand her.. she dont understand me.. with some problems and our friendship is blown away just like that.. perharps its better this way for her.. im sure her life now is better with her ex class mates and poly friends.. but still.. i treasure tis friendship i once had.. toking abt mei.. ya.. im goana admit that im been unreasonable.. always the one thinking so much.. but.. of coz u dun.. coz u got all ur frens who care.. your family who cares.. nono.. im not blaming you.. just that you are the only one i can tok to now.. but sometimes the feeling you give me is that you dont bother.. that hurts.. but its ok.. it seldom happen.. sometimes i just feel so lost.. sorry..
ohh.. when you are sick. what do your parents tell you? esp your mother who usually care more.. will they say need to see doctor.. need use money..? aha..
i was having tis terrible stomachache few days back.. when i reach home.. my mum was applying the onitment.. coz my aunt had to go for operation coz her stomach dunno got wat.. then she was telling me.. your stomach like that.. if too serious need operation.. need 800 plus lehh.. haha.. wat the.. she care more abt the money than me.. not that i always say the bad things.. not its always the words that comes from someone closest to you that hurts..
i have tok so much.. i should not think so much.. not for now.. back to maths.. wee byee..

2005-11-02T22:05:00.000+08:00

went admiralty then zm called to meet for lunch.. went 888 plaza bus stop waited for him with jiayi then off to cwp.. ate.. then stand at one place for quite long before deciding to go admiralty mac study.. zm way of studying maths is really studying.. and reading.. qiang zhe.. saw alot of werid ppl.. one uncle standing outside mac keep pointing at one old lady inside mac to us.. was telling us something but we duno wat.. seem to be scolding her.. werid people..
ok.. buaiz..

2005-11-01T22:46:00.000+08:00

i been slping late waking up early slping late waking up late lately..
i woke up at 2 plus in the afternoon.. such a pig.. was feeling headache and warm all ard.. but i dont have fever.. been studying these few days.. but what if the outcome isnt wat i expected.. it happen before.. damn disappointing..
dont know to to say le.. bye.

2005-10-31T00:17:00.000+08:00

im not updating again.. ahhhhhh.. nvm lahh.. and i also duno my words now is big or small.. so dun blame me if its too big or its too small.. haha..

hmm.. later going to study again.. hopefully i can do well this time.. scared ah scared..
nth much to update le eh.. somethings just share with the one closest can le.. haha..
its oct 31st.. one month going to fly away again.. shit the time lahh.. stop stop stop..
nahh.. it wun stop..
just now watch the ong bak or watever.. he fight till.. so li hai sehh.. but last part very fake.. he kena the gun shot.. act abit pain.. after a while ok le.. haha.. now showing the vampire show.. not watching.. coz miss quite a few sundays de le.. maybe after exam go rent vcds ba.. wana watch quite alot of show sia.. like STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN lor.. haha.. then blahh.. any nice show ba..

hmm.. okie.. and.. i hate fakers lahh.. ok.. just be true.. be yourself can.. not to anyone here.. coz she will nve read this blog.. buaiz..

2005-10-26T16:20:00.000+08:00

think i seldom blog at this timing. dont know why now will feel like blogging.. anyway.. nth much for the past few days.. ytd went back sch to ask ms lim some maths qns.. alright ba.. at least understand on how to find and such.. thanks!
hmm.. ya.. yang cheng ling, xiao zhu de songs very nice.. xiao zhu de only listen to some.. but.. shuai mah.. so ya.. haha.. wu ke qun de also like not bad..

i felt that i have wasted this year away.. i dont know.. but.. beginning of the year.. i think i did mention abt doing this and that during this year.. but i think none had been done eh.. now i think i noe.. everything needs money.. sometimes i do really hate my mother.. everything also say.. waste money.. dont.. go work lah.. work then got money.. ya right.. i work le.. but whos using those money.. not me.. is you.. ahh.. nvmm.. i shouldnt blame her.. shes my mother afterall right.. sighh..

i think i will update later again.. so for now.. byee..

BACK..

now i hate my family even more.. i duno why they muz pick up a fuss over little things.. quarrel and quarrel.. im trying to do my work but i cant.. wat shit.. dun try to pretend.. hate faker.. forget it.. u will never know.. no one will..
sometimes i really dont understand.. wat wrong have i done.. is me.. or u.. or.. whoever.. i hate to have feelings.. i hate to feel so much.. i just hope that i can be numb and get away from all these.. failure i am.. its a mistake from the day im born.. life still sucks.

2005-10-21T22:35:00.000+08:00

hmm.. was chatting with kelvin in the afternoon.. told me abt his graduation day.. aww.. i miss those times too.. athough its been long.. but i still can rem wat happen last year clearly.. last vball match.. graduation day.. day spent at jan hse.. mei came over my hse for overnight.. blah.. awww.. =(

anyway.. was mapling with mei and doing those quest things.. and now its 10 plus already.. jenny ask me to go work tis wkend.. at carrefour at the stop before city hall which i duno how to spell.. haha.. =x but i reject.. alright lah.. but no money earn.. purr..
den.. ya.. almost everyone in ex 4e5 went for chalet today.. hope they enjoy lah.. ya..

den.. ya.. was watching the talk show on channel u on wed night.. abt the family and child de.. then was thinking abt my family.. abt the same as one of the ppl on the youngster side say de.. haha.. everytime we came back home is.. u do your own thing.. i do mine.. ask eaten.. haven go eat.. eat le good.. den continue own thing.. then nowadays mother and sis will like always tok abt money thing.. sis ask abt insurance thing.. father come back.. eat.. watch tv.. bro watch tv.. slp.. me leh.. since all doing their own things.. of coz i also lah.. hah.. wahh.. say till my family like no life like tat leh.. hmm.. thats the truth lah.. ok.. off le.. buaiz..

2005-10-20T20:03:00.000+08:00

decide to blog before my comp becomes weird again.. keep blink and i cant type anything..
ytd was jasmine birthday.. happy birthday! hope she enjoy ytd.. went for movie during the day.. walk ard.. after that meet jan and ying went cck for k box.. yah..
reach home was trying to study.. but eyes keep closing.. so study abit bth want go sleep..
till morning wanted to wake up also.. but also bth.. slept till 9 plus then wake up study..
then off to sch.. was so scared.. dont know of what also.. reached sch.. its damn weird.. i dont like it.. whatever.. bio was alright.. chem i think i got the wrong ans for the salt.. so ya.. purr..
den went hall for their trg.. nth much.. and i reach home..
time is like so fast lah.. cant it stop for just a moment.. just a little moment will do.. i dont want it to move.. to change things.. to adapt.. to.. too much.. too much.. sucks sucks sucks.. -not in the mood-

i miss the joy.. i miss the laughter.. i miss the tears.. i miss.. everything..

2005-10-13T22:10:00.000+08:00

been long since i last updated..
actually nth much happen for the past few weeks also.. been out studying.. bio still sucks.. chem still abit alright.. maths is still trying hard.. some time some things just cant stop bothering me.. its changes the whole mood..

i hate ppl who dont keep to their promise.. my family.. promise a phone on my birthday.. till now.. i haven got one.. its not getting the new phone that matters.. its them.. promise.. but not fulfilling it.. im used to it already..

every family have their own problem.. mine.. i choose not to say.. sometimes.. i just dont belong.. it keeps me distant.. sometimes.. i rather stay away from it..

practical is just one week away.. its the 2nd time.. no word to describe.. no word..
how fast time just go by.. one year older.. o level once again.. rem to wish me good luck.. i need that.. and then.. a new year awaits..
sometimes.. you just cant understand the situation unless u are the one in it..
but still i hope..
pri sch frens organising gathering again.. hope they enjoy themselves..
been long since i saw some ppl also.. it matter to me.. esp you all.. know who you are..
zm will be going in army next year if he din do well for his o this year.. think he changed alot also le ba.. we are not wat we used to be.. its kind of sad lah.. but its ok.. life can only be like tat..
been watching tv for the whole day.. i will go study abit before slping.. need to get my timing back..
suddenly have the urge to go to places i never been before or been quite a while since i last go to de..

>never compare the past to what u are having now.. it doesnt divide the pain.. but multiple it..`
>wo zhi xiang ku, ku ge tong tong kuai kuai..-

2005-10-01T12:42:00.000+08:00

why is the posting page of this so weird.. nvmm..

anyway.. went to the superstar concert with mei last night.. hmm.. ok lahh.. niceee... ooz got weichong.. so cute.. haha.. ok.. and theres JUNYANG also.. right mei.. haha.. kelly also.. her singing.. is wooohooo.. haha.. then wei lian sing.. hear from live.. got the gan dong du.. haha.. =x nicenice.. trying to upload the photo.. but not tat clear.. yeah.. then met sukie and her grandma.. took cab home.. and i left my wallet in the cab? ermmm.. din realise until mei told me.. haha.. so careless seh.. lost duno how.. everything inside.. thanks mei mei!

2005-09-25T11:48:00.000+08:00

ytd went watch movie with mei since cant any place to study.. brother's grimm.. not too bad show.. then went find her sis at mac study.. hungry le went to eat then play the fortune thing.. ok.. u can see all these from mei mei blog.. saying me dirty.. haha.. but is her hand that is in that thing with full stars lehh.. say me dirty.. haha.. nvmm.. then back home.. the contact lens finish le sia.. so was wearing it all the while.. they ask to go 7-11 buy.. went.. the person say nve sell.. then like.. wahh.. sian.. went back home put in water first.. like so pathetic like tat.. everyone was like searching for the solution high and low.. >.<

read this-

The Education Ministry is studying the possibility of letting secondary school students skip their 'O' levels and be admitted to polytechnics directly. And, from next year, schools can start selecting capable Secondary 4 Normal Academic stream students to skip the 'N' levels examinations and go straight to Secondary 5 for their 'O' levels.

For Secondary 4 Normal Academic stream students skipping the 'N' level exams, schools will have the flexibility to pick them at the end of Secondary 2 or 3, based on their performance in school. The Ministry said allowing students to skip the 'N' levels would free up time preparing for the exams, time which could be better spent in enrichment and broadening learning experiences.

Another change is for the polytechnics to take in some students based on a broader measure of merits beyond performance in the GCE 'O' level results. Under the Joint Polytechnic Special Admissions Exercise (JPSAE), which will be introduced from next year, polytechnics can take in, for a start, these students up to 5 percent of their annual intake. Aptitudes such as leadership, entrepreneurship, and talents in areas like sports, arts and community service will all be considered.

all information taken from channelnewsasi.com

uhuh.. like wat the right.. we always get the least benefit.. study so hard in the past for wat.. and i also have to retake it now.. hmm.. they considering cca things also.. then can i take next year.. let them see the records.. then enrol in the poly easily..? do they accept tis kind too? if yes then i dun have to study so hard now.. but.. dream on.. if they din.. its a waste again.. so study!!!

2005-09-20T22:52:00.000+08:00

ytd went malaysia with mum and her fren.. nth much.. waste one day away.. had a terrible headache.. today wasted another day away..
tml maybe going library.. jiayi cant make it.. zm.. forget it.. so alone..

i have loads to say.. but.. dont know where to start from.. bye..

2005-09-17T19:41:00.000+08:00

ytd went back for the mid autumn festival in sch.. boring.. huiting they all din go back.. only those few guys.. zm say coming but in the end also no.. watever.. the only thing is get to see frens them.. after that dun feel like going home.. but nowhere to join.. junwei they all went play candle.. but not too close with some others.. din go with them.. ended up with gina they all.. they went to play basketball.. in the end still left me there only.. listening songs.. played with gina they all fren de mei mei.. shes cute.. while walking home saw huiming alex one big grp playing volleyball.. tok awhile then came back home le..

today spent the whole day at home.. tried studying abit.. went in.. i have open tis page for abt 2 hours.. its 9 plus now.. nobody's home.. brother went for fren's wedding dinner.. parents went for relative de.. sis went cwp.. boring.. yeahh.. great that nobody is beside me toking non-stop...
but i seem so alone.. sometimes just feel like i dont belong.. wat the freak am i doing here..

its mid autumn tml.. and i got work.. alright.. bye.

2005-09-15T23:34:00.000+08:00

i have a very weird dream tis morning.. coz i meeting jiayi and zm to go MOM to get back the work's money.. then i keep dream that im late in meeting them.. even in the end i din turn up.. then every hour or so.. in reality i keep waking up to see the time.. dots dots.. how weird right.. so stupid.. make me so tired..

anyway.. yup.. i got back the money.. but.. two hundred and twenty plus all in 10 dollars notes.. can u imagine that..? cant find any machine to bank in my money.. soo.. have to carry it with me.. went study awhile.. thennn.. went bugis.. den to orchard..

shop shop.. bought quite alot of things.. half of that pay gone.. how sad.. saw kat.. ex wrs de.. hmm.. ok.. nth much also lor.. tml mid autumn celebration in sch huh.. heard from zy.. are they going.. still not confirm.. but go back can do wat.. see frens.. yeapp.. depends on them going back anot lor..

ahh.. i miss huiming.. and all those frens.. recieved a msg from her today.. prelims seems to be going well for her.. yeah.. muz jiayou ok.. alex.. and u.. ya.. i know u are reading.. jiayou too ok..

yeah.. shirui.. u muz jiayou also.. keep cant study.. muz try! slowly study and absorb in.. u can do it de! lame.. hah.. bye!

2005-09-11T15:47:00.000+08:00

okie.. im going to start writing abt anything today..

lets start from ytd.. uhuh.. kena wake up by my baobei mei mei de call.. i tot wat happen seh.. so picked up.. and she and her sis told me to wake up and go study.. is omg lah.. haha.. okok.. then went.. i cant study at all lah.. how sad.. only a tiny little bit of things went in my mind.. booohooo.. played a bit of golf.. uhuh.. dont thing i will really interested in that sport de.. haha..
went sun plaza study again.. i cant i cant.. sighh.. how..

today ar.. today.. later going marina for the steamboat with family ba.. celebrate father's bday in advance.. thennn..

oh ya.. i have tis craving for curry.. i dont know why.. but.. just now i suddenly smell curry.. and i feel like eating..

hmm.. ever wonder what is the one thing that changes your life or one thing that make u to become wat u are now.. everyone will have that.. i have mine too.. think the major are volleyball and friends ba.. been playing volleyball for so many years le.. learn alot of things from there.. and know a lot of great friends from there too.. think u noe who u are lah.. no need for me to mention.. haha.. <3

`will update soon

2005-09-06T00:13:00.000+08:00

nth to say.. or choose not to say..
SIGH.. bye`

2005-09-01T02:09:00.000+08:00

i dont know why am i freaking down here.. and tml i have to reach clark quek by 9.30am for the freaking meeting or whatever u wan to call it.. i dont mind if we cant get back the pay.. blame it on our luck.. but the thing is wat if we travel down there.. and in the end nth is done.. i will be hoping mad.. guess not.. hope at least sue them and make them bankrupt.. bad bad..
im so so tired.. and i cant sleep.. tat explain the reason why im here.. my shoulder and neck hurt so much now.. because of one freaking finger.. and it still look so shit now.. im seriously in a bad mood now i think and i can only talk to YOU.. yes you.. the blog.. all these shit..

anyway today abt today.. went back with zy, wag, ht, jy, jw to wrs.. stupid security is there.. its ok if only a few person there queuing.. but with the whole lot.. just freaking waste of time.. anyway.. went to look for these few teachers.. ok.. guess theres nth much.. do some catching up.. den went cwp wanted to play pool and the place is freaking full of people.. so.. i met up with my mother and went to my uncle shop and blah.. so tat explain my neck and shoulder now..

uhuh.. i dont know wat else i can write anymore.. and so.. i will end here..

bye`

2005-08-29T00:53:00.000+08:00

another entry.. just finish changing the blogskin.. not much change also.. i cant use grey coloour with that kind of background.. will this do? or this light colour one.. i dont know.. might change all things again.. hmm.. im tired.. so i think im crapping in changing all these things.. the words and those.. or maybe im in my sleep.. i cant change the songs in the blog.. the website.. please get well soon.. thank you..

2005-08-28T22:44:00.000+08:00

although less ppl today.. but... its more tiring than ytd.. yawns.. time pass by so slowly.. the uncle keep complaining to me ri zi nan guo.. then he keep repeating the same things to different ppl.. i shld have bought 1238, 1st prize for the 4d.. he cought 1328 i think.. $4,000 leh.. blahh..
saw michelle today.. she patted on my shoulder and i tot is who.. sooooooooo long din see le.. shes going for work.. so.. awhile she left..

din they say tat 12.30am there will be something on the sky.. so ytd i went out of my hse to see 'the mars' i was looking towards the carpark at the opp block.. and saw a light.. strange kind. nve see before.. thinking it was 'the mars', i ask my bro to look.. he say its the carpark light lah.. but i dun believe.. today when i came back home.. to double confirm.. i look at the same spot.. oh.. 'the mars' is still there... hmm... get wat i mean?

2005-08-27T22:44:00.000+08:00

back to work today.. wasnt very smooth.. at first was finding the way to toa payoh courts.. din hear theres courts at toa payoh before.. find till i anxious.. the ppl there muz be thinking wat i doing walking up and down.. ask a lady of the photo shop.. finally.. reach there got a shocked.. theres much more keyboards and piano than amk courts.. omg.. can faint.. ok.. then check stock start work.. the place is so warm and limited space for me to stand.. it OMG again.. den den.. i saw tis shuai ge.. he smile at me.. weee.. haha.. really shuai.. long hair.. but not those guys when u see with long hair.. yucks.. so girly.. he's different.. so manly.. wahah.. and think he's married.. heard him saying.. come, daddy carry.. then he carrying a little girl.. omg.. ok.. none of my business right.. enough of him.. just today wasnt my day.. i hurt my finger again and broke my nails.. how pain... blahh.. tis guy another promoter.. lets name him uncle.. =x was cooking so many food.. just right infront of me.. so tempting... ok.. tml think need to wake up early for tournament then rush to work.. bless me..

2005-08-20T01:15:00.000+08:00

too long din update le.. din keep it to once a day.. who cares anyway.. bey and wag birthday ytd.. went marina zheng fa celebrate the day before.. everyone not much change ba.. =) have another gathering soon perharps..?

junyang is out and wei lian is in..?! cannot be.. obviously on tat night junyang sing much much better than wei lian.. not being bias.. but tats the truth.. and hes out? channel u is sucker.. suck ppl money to vote.. waste.. hah.. how sad..

ok.. today went down to jurong to give my time sheet.. they din tell me the commision thing i have to pass to them too.. zz.. mon i have to go down again.. sighh..

my finger suddenly very pain.. the wai wai one.. so ugly now.. tml still got tournment.. so sian.. morning still have to go down minstry of manpower at clark quek.. so early.. zzz.. stupid company lah.. im mad..

sometimes some things is better to be kept in the heart.. sometimes some things is better to share it with some one else.. with the things to share.. who will listen..? who will seriously care..? those who understand will noe how you feel and ask.. those who dont understand but care will take the effort to ask.. those who dont bother at all will just bring across everything and leave it to be.. only your heart and tears knows best wat you yourself is thinking..
too much too much.. tired..

everything is just the same.. its the mindset thats making everything worse.. once a fact and it will be.. it can be change or leave by itself to cure..
she thought they are the ones.. but the fact is they are not.. they are perharps only companion of each other..
will different goals different environment different mindset change everything?

family are there for u when u need them.. not..
friends are there for u when u need them.. perharps..
so who will be there when u need them..? =)

i think im crapping in this entry here.. my mind is not clear now.. perharps perharps..

-some people pls watch your own attitude before saying others.. for once or twice one could tolerate.. going overboard makes one 'fang wei'.. seriously its u the one causing all these.. pushing all the blame to the other party is just too unfair.. dont think you are the great one here.. uhuh.. oops.. its ok lah.. tis is my blog.. i have the right to say anything isnt it.. aha..

*mei-dont give up. they need you.. alright..? cheers..-

2005-08-11T23:58:00.000+08:00

wake up early and went to my uncle shop... was feeling so giddy when he was rubbing my finger.. was feeling so cold.. then rest on the bed felt better after awhile.. but seem like theres no use in rubbing my finger.. it still look the same.. he say think is the lignmen(duno how to spell) broken or wat.. then went off to work.. not much ppl today.. so bored.. was staring look here and there.. think abt tis think tat.. den saw mr kheng, his wife and son.. their son so cute.. so qiao saw them there.. grow up till so big le.. how time flies.. sighh.. den was told tat i need to work till sun.. coz extend.. dots.. so bored.. but told them tml i cant.. so yeap.. den tis customer last time came de.. today come back.. ask abt tis and that.. blah.. until courts closing then they decided to buy.. i miss my 10pm show.. siann..
just watch finish the superstar result.. derrick is out? hmm.. though dun really support him.. but quite sad sia.. he cried.. and the song he sing.. sad..

im hungry now.. haven eat my dinner.. and theres no food at home.. will my bro buy food back for me..? yawns..
2 minutes to 12am.aug 12.

2005-08-08T23:16:00.000+08:00

suppose to wake up at 10.. but im too tired.. my mum keep calling until 10 plus i bth have to wake up.. went to jurong.. the agent not there.. so i just pass the paper to another agent.. so crazy.. and i have to sit all the way back to amk again.. was late but dun think anyone noe.. today really wasnt in the mood to tok to anyone today.. customer came and i also just anyhow explain.. some i dun even care and let them be.. so sian.. i keep thinking tat today is a weekend.. so work till 9 plus also nvm.. but realise tat 10pm got the show.. so 9 plus quickly tell them and go le.. nth much.. im working tml also.. how bored..

huiting.. i miss u too.. and the people.. and those days.. =(

2005-08-07T23:04:00.000+08:00

slept at 2 plus last nite.. cant get to slp.. wake up at 6 plus.. went to phs for the tournament.. won 3-0.. den went novena look for my mother to get my working shirt and such.. at there eat.. less than a few days i have to top up my ezlink card.. waste my money only.. im broke.. went amk.. start work.. i feel like slping while standing there.. wasnt in the mood.. the kids are so so noisy.. with the banging on the piano.. imagine 2 digital piano , 5 keyboard playing at the same time.. some more one is tat can blast one.. i almost scream at them.. have to work till 10 again.. im almost dead on my way home..
i duno wat shld i do now.. i duno how shld i feel now.. im tired - of everything..

2005-08-04T23:12:00.000+08:00

its the 4th today.. 4 4 4 .. weee.. crazy.. nth speacial also.. woken up by sms from the in charge ard 9 plus.. purr.. was slping till so shuang.. was trying to get back to slp.. then few mins later have to get ready for work le.. was giving tis fake smile to everyone at work today.. if they notice.. aha.. one parents actually wanted to pay me to teach their daughter piano.. if i know.. hah.. oh.. and.. recieve tis news.. last promoter job i work for.. din have the money to pay us.. uhuh.. bad luck? 100 plus to 200 gone like tat? i hope not.. pls.. sadded.. im seriously in no mood today.. wanted to go home at 9.. yet again another customer came.. i miss the 10pm show.. i think i have no energy to carry on anymore.. though the work is not tat tough.. but.. just.. yeah.. forget it..
tml is the 5th.. the next day is the 6th.. then 7th.. 8th.. 9th.. national day.. im working also i think? sigh.. 11th.. im counting down..
im beginning to hate everything now..

2005-08-03T23:06:00.000+08:00

nth much today.. was raining when i just wanted to get out of hse.. din bother to brg umbrella.. the rain is damn big.. amk station to the central is quite a long way.. and im so so wet.. maybe i wanted so much to get sick.. so din really bother.. hah.. but the whole day was so cold.. it makes my finger even worse.. its swollen now i think.. not much ppl today also.. but im tired.. the in charge of my job came down and take a look.. explain to me abit abt the piano.. ok ba.. boring job there.. 9 plus not much ppl.. so faster pack everything so i can reach home in time to watch 10pm show.. but i miss the superstar.. sadded..
i feel like going k box.. i feel like watching moviess.. i feel like..... -

_____________________________________________________________________

2005-08-02T23:20:00.000+08:00

din go work today.. gd thing.. dun have to face the pianoss.. then till 3 plus.. im still feeling so lazy and tired.. but have to bathe and went down to yck meet ql.. to tamp sports hall.. damn far.. reach there quite early.. and we waited.. play best of 5.. won 3-0.. we din really play.. coach and her frens those li hai.. the net is so high.. found it difficult to spike the ball over.. and i try to tap.. crack.. one of my finger cant be straighten now.. haiz.. had a hard time typing tis now also.. sat to pasir ris coz got seat.. sat to marina bay coz got seat.. din wan to stand all the way.. tiring.. back home watch tv and bathe.. working tml again.. i dun feel like working anymore.. i duno.. just dun feel like.. i dun wish to think abt anything else anymore.. just dun feel like..

gone-

2005-08-01T23:20:00.000+08:00

beginning of another month again.. everything is way too fast.. sadded..

nth job still alright.. sold 2.. not much ppl also.. so not tat tired.. get to sit.. but so bored.. tml suppose wanted to go off early.. yet manager say off.. so yea.. maybe going back to wrs play vball.. then go for the tournament.. im so tired these few days..

i dont know wat else i can say.. sigh.. take care all..

2005-07-30T23:26:00.000+08:00

uhuh.. im back again..
im so tired today.. yet have to get up to prepare for work.. its raining u noe.. caught in the rain.. fever fever.. not.. was walking real fast.. coz im late.. and actually no one cares.. so.. haha.. so start work.. okok.. today sales not bad.. manage to sell 5 or 6? yea.. but.. i forgot to write down the serial no. those.. hope it doesnt matter.. if not =(
my leg is so suan.. so i like keep pretending to play the piano so tat i can sit.. but... for not long also..

mei mei is sick.. =(( drink lots and lots of water u noe.. nagging huh.. sorry.. worried lah.. take gd care of urself.. miss u ok..

tml working again.. blahh..
'my legs step on a very sour lemon'
'my stomach lives some living things'

2005-07-28T23:07:00.000+08:00

back from work.. im damn sway tis morning.. can say the whole day.. forget it.. went to tis building near lakeside for the interview.. she just briefly go thru wat the product.. uhuh.. like tat ask us how to promote the product? today when customers ask me.. im like looking here and there for the info.. somemore im alone handling all those.. kill me.. lucky theres tis gal from courts came over to help me.. but still i din manage to sell a single thing.. =( and i waited from morning 11 plus till 3 plus then go to work.. today start late.. ok.. im working at amk courts as keyboard promoter.. so anyone... pls.. wana buy go there.. thank you.. i shall learn one or two song during this period from the keyboard tat has backlight... hear me.. but kids are there always ting ting dong dong chang.. i din have the chance to learn..
i feel like giving up.. im beginning to feel myself so fake.. dont have the mood to sell or wat still have to smile smile.. tats the way.. uhuh..
i begin to suspect theres something inside my stomach..
KILL ME..

everything , everything. can it come back . why , why muz it be like tat.

2005-07-27T23:01:00.000+08:00

came in just to update.. wake up tis morning and called the agent vivan asked me to.. and the agent asked me to go down to fill up form and such.. felt so stupid again.. was walking to jtc building.. but tot it was wrong.. so i went back to mrt station. msg for help since i cant call.. wait and wait.. my fren told me its jtc building.. i.. dots.. went back again lor.. den came back admiralty.. meet mei.. =D and awhile have to go le.. coz going back to the agency.. dots again.. make me go and come back again.. my stomach is damn pain all the way.. it comes and goes.. =(
hope nth goes wrong when im working..
ahh.. starting tml.. and i have to go for tis interview at 8.30.. at lakeside.. oh my.. how long since i wake up so early le.. haiz.. somehow regret taking up tis job.. on the 12.. =( will try to make arrangements.. and vball tournament.. i cant attend all? sigh.. everything doesnt go smoothly for me..

pain pain go away..

2005-07-26T20:11:00.000+08:00

set alarm at 9 plus to wake me up.. but i din hear it.. until 12 plus woke up.. bathe and went civic center.. pay bill then went library.. was looking for the cook book.. cant seem to find any.. went to find storybooks.. yet cant seem to find the book yiwen say nice de again.. or is it i dont know how to find books.. maybe.. no place for me to study.. so walk ard in cwp.. sian le.. msg zm.. he say he eating lunch.. so after his lunch went chat with him awhile at level 1.. he working in popular.. cant really chat much coz he working also.. stomach keep not feeling well.. so came home.. the feeling sucks.. till now still pain.. and my leg.. nth's wrong become something wrong now.. purrr..

2005-07-25T23:13:00.000+08:00

i will make it a point to update my blog everyday no matter wat..
din plan to go anywhere today.. mum went down to my uncle shop.. and theres is problem with my knee these few days.. its pain when i walk.. and its some sort of bend in a little.. so went down with her.. my uncle help me to rub.. its damn pain.. and actually its not tat serious.. but his strength is.. ok.. now theres a bruise on it..
after tat while waiting for father to come fetch us.. chat quite alot with mum which is after ages since we last do so? yeah.. think i shouldnt waste my time at home everyday.. felt so useless.. i will take up guitar lesson.. (when i have the money) and mum say i shld learn how to cook.. so next time she working.. i will take care of dinner.. ok.. just make sure we wun end up in the hospital.. will learn cooking from now on also.. going to library to search for books tml as well as study.. (hope so)

my stomach is killing me.. it make me lose appetite for the whole day.. this feeling is.. terrible..

2005-07-24T23:31:00.000+08:00

hui se kong jian-

my mp3 is finally working again.. : )

2005-07-22T22:43:00.000+08:00

another post..
nth much for today.. wanted to post abt some thinking de.. but.. dont know why noe mind is blank.. so.. maybe later or next time ba.. perharps the song let me breath can describe ba.. yeap.. boring.. life sucks-

2005-07-21T18:47:00.000+08:00

im here.. okie.. i think i shld have the habit of writing an entry everyday.. i shld.. i will.. try..

nth much for the past few days.. been staying at home.. boring.. i think im beginning to isolate myself from everything else..
today my bro gf, ok.. da sao sound easily.. went back to thailand.. no one else can send her to the airport.. so im given this task.. been ages since i step into the airport.. took cab there.. then she have to go in le.. byebye.. and next.. im lost.. i dont know where to go.. and i have to keep follow the sign that say mrt at terminal two.. im at terminal one.. suppose to take the train or wat to terminal two.. but i wana take bus.. btw think i nve take tat 'train' b4.. .. so i msg my bro.. to the basement there is.. so i went down again.. saw police officer.. he was looking at me.. i keep imagine that hes going to stop me.. check my things and such.. hah.. so walk and walk.. into the taxi stand there.. the lady there tot im going to cut the passengers queue.. she gave me this shocked look.. so i just ask her where is the bus station.. at the basement again she say.. so i have not reach the basement eh.. ok.. down again.. finally i saw.. was looking so hard to find bus 858.. ok.. finally huh.. yeah.. ok.. im back home..

2005-07-15T23:25:00.000+08:00

ytd had a hard time slping and yet tis morning had to wake up early.. at least to me its early.. woke up by my father's call at ard 9.. cant go back to slp coz scared cant wake up.. going to ntu for my brother's convocation.. he graduated.. dont plan to go de.. but his gf wanna go.. but cant let her go alone.. so.. i have to.. so went there.. its boring lah.. sit down there and listen.. hundreds of names been called.. so just have to listen and listen.. and just listen.. after everything end.. take photo.. then blah and blah.. bored lah.. ya..
like tis lor.. and my mp3.. i think its spoiled? ahhh.. was listening to it ytd.. and duno y it drop to the floor.. and.. i was holding the earphone to prevent it from falling too hard.. and when i pull up.. try to play it.. cant!! tot the battery flat.. changed.. cant!! see here and there.. nths wrong!!
arghhh.. stupid.. doubt my mum is going to buy me a new one.. sobb.....

2005-07-04T23:16:00.000+08:00

hmm.. ytd went k box with jasz , jan and jialing.. fun fun.. haha.. esp the part when jan is trying to follow the way wu zhou xian sing.. omg.. and mei there.. hahah.. darn funny.. make me laugh till bth sia.. jialing also.. haha.. but me like.. eh.. paiseh paiseh ar.. muz bao chi yi tai mah.. rite.. haha.. =x okok lah.. next time.. then i wun paiseh le.. wahha.. =)

today.. went to watch initial D with mei.. finally huh.. when almost everybody else has watch it.. haha.. actually the plan is off.. but mei mei so gd.. <3>
the show.. okok lah.. not bad i think.. but the part when they were racing.. abit.. zzz.. haha..
after tat went mei's hse there de coffeeshop eat.. satay satay.. thanks ar mei.. finally i got to eat.. haha.. =) after tat then i went home le.. fun day also.. was talking and joking ard.. love ya mei.. <33

hmm.. later going to study some chem le.. now starting to study bit by bit.. think by the time o level coming.. i shld be ready le..? hope so.. haha.. buaizzz...

2005-06-27T23:47:00.000+08:00

quite some time since i last update.. yiwen intro me tis job as car fresherner promoter..
located at different locations.. and all is like damn far for me.. hate those real fussy people.. dun wish to tok much.. woke up quite late today.. pig me.. duno wat i been doing last nite also.. slp at 4 plus in the morning.. crazy.. tml is the last day of work.. at sengkang.. yawns.. long journey there and back again..

recieved a msg from susu coach.. they are joining this open tournament.. need ppl.. ql were asked too.. but was told tat maybe wun get to play the game.. anyway its coz their ppl will be late or not able to make it for some games.. tats y.. no. 4 is taken up by their ppl.. gonee.. btw 7 and 9.. ql choose 9.. so i took 7.. quite a nice num but 4 will be a better one.. not confirm joining also.. coz ql sch team might be joining too.. then will be me alone.. so see how ba..

Initial D damn rocks.. everything is so cool.. okie.. i haven catch it.. but thats the comment i keep hearing.. soo.. make me wana watch it too.. aww.. been long since i last watch movie.. anyway.. posted back to wrs for retaking o level.. jiayi also.. strange huh.. duno its a gd or a bad thing...

2005-06-21T23:58:00.000+08:00

so sian now.. so decided to come and blog.. nth much today.. woke up quite late today.. dont why also.. perharps the weather is too good for slping.. think my timing got all wrong again.. tired during day.. quite alert during nite.. yea.. anyway.. recieved call from huiming.. say wana play vball.. so ya.. just take keys money and phone den went down le.. coz going weiting hse nia.. weiting's bro was there too.. playing with his frens at the playground.. hes cute.. small small in size de.. haha.. den we play play.. tired le went the mini mart buy drinks den went playground sit awhile watching alvin(weiting bro) play.. weiting have to go off le.. so pei huiming walk till admiralty.. den popular.. coz she have to wait for her mum.. till ard 8 went off le.. at the overhead bridge saw my mother.. so walked home with her.. and ya.. watch tv.. online.. till now..
today is my sis birthday.. din celebrate also.. so ya.. happy birthday to her.. tats all.. yup..

2005-06-21T11:48:00.000+08:00

today mei come my house.. after so long finally get to see her.. yeap.. =)
she seem to have grown taller? haha.. dunno leh.. or coz too long nve see her le.. haha.. din tell her coz later she will show me tat face.. =x hmm.. she doing her work.. den we watch house of wax.. not long she have to go meet for her sis coz they going to watch the pck play le.. so fast.. so.. ya..

song for tis entry: Li Kai Wo De Li You.
so long nve write a long entry le(can juz close if u dont feel like reading.. coz its real long and just about my.. memories and feelings : ) . haha.. mei was looking at my photo album.. den she told me wat happen during her pri sch days.. so funny and cute.. haha.. so that was pri sch.. ya.. pure and innocent one.. looking at it brings back lots of memories huh.. gd and bad ones.. happy and sad ones.. childhood memory to me is quite blur.. everytime when someone asked about it.. alot of times i dont really rem wat had happen b4 le.. dont know why also.. maybe becoz i had some accident or something so got part of the memory lost.. haha..

pri sch days.. wdl pri really rawks lah.. haha.. the principal.. Mrs Mary Lim.. shes gd to us.. friendly.. treat us to swensen and pizza hut when we won something for the sch.. encourage us.. but too bad she transfer to another sch long ago le.. ok.. toking abt pri sch vball.. forgot its the first match of our life we playing or wat.. but i rem very clearly.. we went into the court for warm up all tat.. den i rem tat i was hit by a ball serve from opp straight into my face.. thats the first time i kena hit by a ball.. tears flow.. den match start le.. coz tat time me setter mah.. den every 2nd ball i have to hook over.. the funny thing is.. every ball that came to me.. end up into the net.. coz my eyes very blur from all the tears.. think i still rem jing chang coach disappointed look.. haha.. think we lost tat match.. so coach wanted us all to gather outside the hall and talk to us.. im still crying coz its really my fault mah.. so he talk and talk.. den one by one.. everyone ard me started crying also.. haha.. dont really rem wat happen le.. but thinking back.. its funny lah.. each and every one of them crying.. haha.. ohh.. nono.. think ql, the only one nve cry.. she strong.. haha.. so like tat.. different comp we play.. lost and won.. everytime during recress we would gather at the vball court and play vball.. after sch stay back and play vball.. freak lah.. haha.. even when we leave wdl pri still will go back during occasion to play sia.. haha.. but now move location le.. everything changed.. and tats when we nve really get to see each other le..
and ya.. the genting trip in pri 6.. =)

sec sch is not as fun as tat time though.. but the memories.. is countless.. entered into wrss.. this sch really sucks lah.. with the principal.. and all the stupid rules.. =x but other than tat.. it real rawks too.. the 5 of us entered.. we were real close at tat time.. but coz of some reason but not going to say here.. one by one they left.. from 5 to 4,3,2.. left me and ql.. sec 2 during sports days and all the interclass.. first time i felt that the class spirit is so strong.. till sec 3.. enter into a class not of my choice.. but still its quite nice been in there.. lots of problem started coming out.. keep changing of maths and form teacher.. almost cant make it to sec 4 express and such.. haha.. and those trg camps during the 4 yrs.. days when we left class early for tournament.. wt they all join us for trg.. the days when they gather at my house watch vcd.. those pta sessions.. till the problems we had between each other.. malacca trip.. and lots more.. all these is hard to have now.. but... :) yea.. haha..

get to know huiming.. we would always gather outside class and gossip.. haha.. =x my best partner during vball trg.. yea.. den janice.. the funny one.. weiting.. sukie.. jiayi.. yiwen.. my lao de.. though know u for so long ar.. we only been chatting in msn.. haha.. u have been a great friend eh.. hope things are working well for u now.. all the best.. : ) and lots ppl more.. haha.. ehh.. did u all see jasmine name? ohh.. i left her out.. paiseh paiseh.. =x haha.. jk lah.. where will left tis baobei mei out huh.. hmm.. she ar.. just ending of sec 3 den get to know her.. duno why also.. we always can tok alot to each other.. our problems and such.. den she become my mei.. we only get closer and bond going stronger.. during these short and not short.. long and not long period.. haha.. alot of things happen ar.. happy.. sad.. everything.. without her ard.. i really dont know what am i going to do.. wo yong yuan de mei mei.. really thanks for everything.. =) and.. our promises.. lurve u.. yup..

thanks each and everyone of u mention above..
ask me why i love volleyball so much.. i been playing it for almost half of my life now.. thru it.. i learn alot.. learn how to work with one another.. know alot of great people.. happy and sad moments.. vent out on the ball instead and forget abt everything else.. and more.. vball is one tat keep me going.. so.. yea.. oh my.. why do i sound so lao qi and like im going to die soon huh.. haha.. ok lah.. such a long long entry.. sorry.. =x zzz..

2005-06-18T18:00:00.000+08:00

ohh myy.. din i just change my blog skin?
know wat i did ytd.. wanted to put something on top of my old blog.. but change here change there.. and the box got all mix up.. got so pek cek.. i decide to make another new skin.. haha.. so stupid hor.. spend a much longer time making tis new skin.. but kinda like it.. haha.. changed the whole thing.. but haven finish yet..
meiii.. changed to cbox le.. wanted u tagg.. soo.. tagggg.. haha..

2005-06-13T23:44:00.000+08:00

purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr..
wats with a mother that lie.. wats with a mother who dun speak the truth on where shes going when theres nth wrong at all.. yong zhe ge bi yao ma.. wats with having a father who u dun speak more than 5 sentence each day with.. wats with having a family which dun understand at all but just keep go on nagging and make one feel so mei yong.. wats with me.. wats with u.. wats with everyone...

pls stop it from flowing... hurt..

2005-06-12T23:14:00.000+08:00

12.06.05

fifteen =D

2005-06-09T23:50:00.000+08:00

i seriously dun like my hair now.. i think.. sighhh..
ytd slept early.. but still slept till 1 plus.. pig i am.. finish watching troy tis afternoon.. 3 disc long.. not bad ba.. brad pit.. shuai..
watch tv.. tong xin yuan.. superstar.. yin cha yang cuo.. again.. like ytd lor.. haha.. headache..
ohh.. tml friday leh.. means.. mei is coming back from her camp le.. miss her so much..
-thursday..

2005-06-08T23:14:00.000+08:00

ytd watch the doll master.. 1 plus in the middle of the night.. omg.. those dolls.. scary sia.. somemore i watch alone.. den.. keep hold my breath.. coz duno when the doll is out to scare people.. haha.. till 3 plus lor.. then went to slp.. till 1 plus wake up.. brush teeth.. on comp.. listen to song.. nth then stare at the comp.. walk ard the hse.. on the tv.. comp.. tv.. comp.. tv.. haha.. boring hor.. i also cant stand it.. try studying.. alot of things forgot le.. arrhhhh.. cham sia.. haiz.. i shld really start making myself study really really hard le.. den tong xin yuan.. den superstar.. den yin cha yang cuo.. den came online again.. ahaha.. sian.. boring day.. -wednesday

2005-06-07T23:03:00.000+08:00

was slping till shuang shuang today.. until mother keep calling at 11 plus.. finally after the 5th missed call i pick up.. and went back to slp.. den 12 plus.. another msg came.. its jiayi.. asking me wake up go bugis.. zzz.. keep tell her later.. so drag till 2.30 den meet.. haha.. went there.. walk ard lor.. so sian.. nth much also ba.. bought a jeans.. no money le.. sobb.. den weihai come find us.. coz he say at home sian.. also got nth to do.. so came along lor.. he so ke lian.. coz we two girls mah.. so he like follow ard nia lor.. haha.. den wait for jiayi make the things went back to cwp le.. nth to do.. den jiayi keep say my hair weird.. so was standing outside tat 10 mins shop thinking whether i shld cut.. again sia.. tat time just cut.. went up to the 2nd floor de.. coz was asking the person can cut like wat.. dun really wan to cut de.. but in the end still went in.. my fringe is damn short now.. my god.. another $10 gone and im left with pathetic $4.. haha.. jiayi's sisters come find her.. coz they wana go library borrow books.. so we went also.. and borrow one book.. hopefully can i finish reading.. haha.. and and.. mei mei msg me using her fren hp.. so gan dong.. =D but heard tat its not going too well over there.. muz take care.. jiayou.. few more days can come back le.. yup.. miss u eh.. den went sun plaza borrow vcd.. troy and the doll master.. used up the pathetic $4 le.. sob sob.. nvm.. den came home le lor.. maybe going to watch one of the vcd later on.. -tuesday

2005-06-06T23:03:00.000+08:00

wahh.. finally finished changing my blogskin le.. spending the whole day infront of the comp doing it.. omg.. and bro keep disturbing me say he wan use.. but.. think very ugly eh.. esp the drawing i drew.. my drawing is like shit.. haha.. at least it shows that its i do de mah.. my trademark.. =x listen to mei advice in making one of my own.. man zhu man zhu.. haha..
ok.. so wat have i done today.. doing tis lorz.. haha.. eyes so tired now..
hmm.. mei mei today went for her obs camp le.. 5 days leh.. haiyo.. nvm.. hope she enjoying herself.. ya.. take good care of urself also arz.. fri den can get to talk to her sia.. so sian..
nth much also lor.. ohh.. hate my family nagging so much.. everything i do also wana nag..
-hear no evil- aha.. sian..

2005-05-29T22:47:00.000+08:00

another day at home.. suppose to go down bugis.. but go down alone is damn sian.. and also quite late le.. so suan le.. drag drag drag..

its all abt infront of comp.. watch tv.. eat.. watch tv.. comp.. music.. blahsss...

is love really more impt than friends? u and ur friends tok abt anything under the sun.. ur problems u all tell each other.. but once got stead le.. its ur stead who share all these things.. leaving the other.. heard alot from friends abt tis.. they choose gf/bf over friends.. go out less often with friends.. they change when got gf/bf.. hmm.. perharps.. some people are just like tat.. sighhh..

seem like im not my usual self these few days.. ask me why..? i have no ans for u.. coz i dun even have the ans myself.. its just something.. where i duno wat is it.. make my mood sink.. guess mei noe abt this too.. tok to her think she also feel sian.. really sorry abt tis.. its not anything abt u kk.. =)
maybe i will find out the reason soon.. think nth too serious ba.. perharps..

understanding involves two person.. one person to really understand the other.. and the other to allow tat person to really understand u..

how i wish i can go crazy like nobody business.. cry all i wan where no one will care.. shout like no body is going to complain back.. sit at one place do nothing at all.. not even thinking of anything.. how i wish.. yea.. its all juz i wish.. where normally.. it wont happen.. i think.. =)

2005-05-27T15:18:00.000+08:00

update.. er.. from tue.. ya..
24.o5.o5
din went sch for trg.. coz mother ask me go tis place interview for job.. sucks lor.. waste my time only.. for ard two hours there.. alone.. sian.. my mother was waiting at yishun station.. ke lian.. haha.. den follow her to wdl pts she wana buy things.. den ard evening went cwp meet up with huiyi, mic,zy,bey,wag blahs to advance celebrate huiyi bday.. they went sakae eat.. me and zm dun feel like eating coz quite full.. so went mos wait for jiayi and huiting come den eat mos lor.. after tat went see them play pool.. jiayi keep say wan watch movie.. but i keep say cold.. dun wan.. so in the end din.. haha.. coz all were too full to eat.. so we went to buy the cake for her and she bring it home.. den went outside cwp.. singing bday song for huiyi.. sixian joker sia.. his action and all.. haha.. after tat all went home.. very long since all of us get together.. too bad ying wasnt there.. den jiayi dun wan go home.. so the usual three went slack at her hse there de playground.. till 1 plus wana rain le.. took cab home..
25.o5.o5
stay at home the whole day.. no one online and blahs.. so sian.. nite went meet jiayi and zm watch king of heaven.. okok lor.. not bad.. but all abt god and such.. dun really understand their ang mo.. keep have to look at subtitles.. haha.. send jiayi home first.. no bus home le.. so walk with zm back home.. took almost two hours.. dots..
26.o5.o5
went back sch.. they at the fitness corner there 'studying'.. dorathy coach was there teaching them abt wat they should and should not do and such.. somethings she said when i din notice in the past.. learn quite abit of things also.. den bring those sec 1s up and train abit.. after everything.. went eat at cwp with mei.. and came home..
27.o5.05
3 plus now.. stayed at home.. actually morning wana wake up early and go library study.. but hearing mei's missed call.. i went back to slp.. till 11 plus wake up.. lazy le.. why am i so lazy.. haiz.. theres nth for today.. anything then i update later ba..

all frens start sch in poly le.. heard that lecture is so so sian.. hmm.. and saw their blogs.. abt new frens they met and such.. will one have new friends and forget the old ones? it all depend on one.. the willingness to maintain and such.. for me.. as the saying goes.. wine taste better the longer u keep them.. same goes for friends.. =)

2005-05-23T20:43:00.000+08:00

wake up at 10 today.. meet mei for breakfast.. hahah.. so long since i wake up so early le..
just to go have mac breakfast.. coz was craving for it since long time no eat le.. ke lian mei.. holiday still have to wake up early to pei wo eat.. thank u.. =)
den went sun plaza.. actually wana watch movie de.. but mostly is nc16 show.. mei cant watch..
wan try i buy the ticket.. den mei 'hun' jing qu de.. but keep scared they will check both.. haha.. until one botak big size guy come.. den got two also under 16 de.. see them go buy.. but the botak said something like cannot.. so we left.. haha.. went j8.. the movies there also almost same same lor.. pathetic cinema now.. and.. so stupid.. now all the show almost all nc16 de.. ask people how to watch.. haiyo.. den.. saw tis nail polish or watever machine.. haha.. mei keep ask me try.. den.. the thing.. so stupid.. go put wat be careful as finger can be injured.. make me so scared.. coz tot they going to press down on my finger or wat.. haiyo.. haha.. ok.. then.. went take neoprints.. hahah.. funny.. den mei de sis call gek her say she and her mother at orchard.. haha.. so next.. we went orchard.. she went to find them.. den mei pei wo go mrt station coz i going novena meet my mother.. reach there still early mah.. coz mother still working.. so i went walk ard.. novena really nth de.. my god.. waste money opening shop there.. i think.. haha.. till 5 finally she knock off le.. father sis and bro come fetch us go see ah ma at the old folk home.. aiyo.. ah ma ar.. dun be so hot-temper.. go anywhere also will quarrel with people.. my mother wan tok to u.. u pui her.. haiyo.. haha.. =x den we only at there diam diam listen to her say tis say tat lor.. awhile jiu go off le.. but she very ke lian eh.. her legs and hands all.. so thin lor.. her legs.. even thinner than my hands.. can u imagine tat..?
den mummy go nearby there de stalls buy some durian.. and we are back home..
thats my day with meimei and awhile with family.. =D

2005-05-22T00:18:00.000+08:00

super long no write.. also nth much.. trg in wrs start le.. so went back..
today grandma bday.. was told to make sushi.. then make.. result.. not nice.. so din continue..
duno its the rice or the powder that cause the problem.. den went ah ma there..
they were like asking.. sushi leh.. din make ar.. blah blah.. so.... er... nvm..
its like so many ppl lor.. duno where to stand also.. ok.. its stand.. coz theres not enough seat for all.. like tat lor.. den eat cake.. went home le.. ya.. the cake is nice.. tiramisu.. with a bit of wine inside.. today not really alot ppl i think.. 4th sen family din come.. so.. ya..
lucky got mei pei wo msg.. if not really sian diao..

my sis ask me go take the test for selling insurance de.. so can go and sell.. but the book is like so thick... still thinking wan anot.. no harm trying.. but see first ba.. my own o level de also cant le..
waiting for my mac breakfast... =p

2005-05-10T22:48:00.000+08:00

went taka to the agency.. doubt they will call.. actually dun wan work too.. but i wan money.. can it just fall down from the sky..? if u think like tat will coz alot of ppl to go crazy and not go work or watever.. then juz let it fall from at my house.. from my roof.. ... hmm.. seem like im the one sound crazy here.. nice walking in the rain.. cooling..
i want 7610.. or 6260.. but 7610 got mp3.. k700i not bad also.. less ex.. but i still prefer nokia phone.. easier to msg those.. hmm.. but.. no $$.. sad.. bro going thailand tml.. ask him buy tis buy tat.. haha.. but doubt he will really go buy.. shall see.. hes bringing my precious with him.. arggg.. so sian.. few days without my precious ard.. no song.. no music when i go out.. yea.. tats my mp3.. wat u guys thinking.. ok... no one reading also mah.. toking to myself.. blahs..

its true.. sometimes.. theres tis feeling which u cant really describe when u are alone.. esp when u duno wats going to happen next.. when u noe tat tml is just going to be another day.. esp when everyone is busy preparing to go sch and such.. but u are the only one slacking.. ppl envy u for the time u can still slack.. ya.. tats true.. but.. i envy them for they will be occupied with things.. hah.. no lah.. i make my decision le.. and quite happy with it.. its jus that the feeling will be there.. ji mo de gan jue.. hah..
guess no one will understand wat tat feeling is ba.. ya.. with friends.. the feelings will be gone.. but somehow.. the feeling is juz hidden somewhere.. when u are alone again.. and esp when u really have nth to do and can start letting ur mind run wild.. the feelings.. ha... its scary and its the most i dread of..
but.. really gladful that my frens are still there...
esp jasz.. somehow.. she can make all those feeling go away.. shes the one i really confide in de.. and lots.. really thanks for everything.. going to be sistas 14 mths le.. muacks.. im blissful.. =D is tat how i can use tis word.. haha.. =p

and.. u wan me to name alot.. i really cant.. coz.. really dun have tat much to name.. pathetic eh.. but.. these are the few and really precious one..
the powerpuff family.. ming.. kel and jan..
they always give me the support to jiayou on my retaking of o.. supporting my decision.. and blahs.. haha.. thank you.. =D
weiting.. hao peng you.. =)
youjun.. always asking him to help me to find tis and tat.. like a big kor kor to me.. hee..
jiayi.. the one who i can lame with.. doing really stupid things together sometimes.. haha.. but it all become good memories..

why am i getting so emotional now.. haha.. im not sure also..

-sometime the feeling is gone..
just like the wind being blown away..
sometimes..
it remains there..
no matter how hard u try blowing..
it just wont go off..
the endless road..
no one knows..

2005-05-07T23:28:00.000+08:00

morning wake up at 10 plus le.. its early ok.. at least to me.. =x
1st meet jiayi.. i tot im late.. but.... shes even later... haha.. nvm.. and the moment i saw her..
ask her.. do i noe u.. haha.. coz her hair was like... pink.. but to her its so call red lah.. haha.. got two mths like tat no see le wor.. then went eat.. blahs... then she went off to work le..
den meet mei.. then come my hse.. study study.. den was doing the table thing on comp... it makes me look so stupid... dots... haha.. now do things also like slow slow le.. too long nve use brain le.. ok.. tats not a gd thing.. haha.. after tat went cwp.. jasz and her sis wenta buy mother's day present.. and at the foodcourt.. theres tis gal and guy ar.. make mei so angry.. haiyo.. heard tat is she point point.. then i heard she say wat vball thing like tat.. dot dot.. tot shes mei's fren then when sit down.. omg.. mei like so angry wor... haiyo.. coolll downn..
nve see the girl face.. but think also wun chio dao nan li qu.. haha.. shes frekooooooooo purrrrr.............
but... dun make till matter too big ar.. ok..? dun wan u get into trouble also.. yup..

2005-05-05T23:50:00.000+08:00

change blogskin again..
wan it abit simple.. so ya..
actually dun feel like blogging anymore..
since nobody is going to read it..
but suan le.. at least theres some place for me to write
when nth to do or watever can come in and tok craps..
hah.. and... i cant seem to find the html for the song...
haiz.. so sian.. no song in tis blog.. goana keep trying..
today wana go nyp with meiru to her trg.. but coz of my swollen eyes..
dun feel like playing.. now getting better le.. better than the first nite..
when the eyeball is like abit 'pop' out? omg.. tats yucky.. i even try touching it.. and...
its soft soft de.. eee.. tot im going blind soon.. its so damn pain lor.. keep tear also.. and its
only from my left eye.. so i wake my mother up.. then she see.. also tio shock.. haha.. then keep ask wan go see doctor anot.. its in the middle of the night.. where got doctor.. haiyo..
then bro also come out.. sis also wake up from slp.. then keep ask tis ask tat.. so funny..
next day.. kena wake up by mother ard 6+.. ask me follow father car go c doctor.. no pop out le.. but its super red and swollen.. hah.. went polyclinic.. so early so many ppl le sia.. then wait lor.. alone.. so sian.. tot the doctor handsome one.. Dr Ivan.. but go in.. ermm.. ok.. shall not elaborate much.. haha.. but.. he dun dare to look at me in the eye sia.. haha.. think not tat serious also rite.. like tat lor.. ask me go collect medicine.. then have to wait again... so sian...
after tat also nth much lor.. so came home lor..

i found out something.. u noe those biscuit.. the round round one.. plain plain de.. aiya.. duno how to say.. next time noe the name then say..
when put in milo hor.. its not tat nice.. it taste best in milk le.. those white white the milk... yum.. when it softens.. weee.. best.. why am i toking abt it here.. blahs...
dun feel like slping tat early.. so sian..
so fast tml friday le.. another week is going to past juz like tat le..
and.. may le.. arghh.. hate tis.. hate my life now.. so meaningless..
watever.. blahss.. wahahaha......

2005-05-01T00:18:00.000+08:00

hmm...
juz now mei mei come my hse do work..
she studied s.s.. test her then she noe leh.. weee... =D
haha.. but me did a few sums only.. oops..

okie.. mei say she luv me in her blog.. and me too..
so im gona say... i luvvvvvvvv meeeeiiii tooooooo~ haha.. =p

juz now write something.. show mei.. then she say nice.. when i dun think so..
haha.. anyway.. juz post here lorz.. yup.. is there anybody going to see...?
hah.. if got.. then gd lah.. any bad or gd comment also can.. haha..
my eng.. i know.. its bad.. so.. pardon me.. haha.. =x
here goes..

I recall the things that u used to say to me..
The care..
The love..
used to shower me with..
I don’t know how..
And I don’t know why..
Im here thinking
Thinking about wat would happen if
From the past again..
Where everything suppose to end..
To be a memory..

No one could hear me screaming
In their own world..
I realize my mistake..
I wan to start everything over again..
But I cant just go back..
Everyone is moving on..
And life…
It juz.... get on..

I can hold on no more..
The strength..
The hope u used to give me..
is gone with the wind..
its moving fast without me realizing..
You are the one who promise..
Promise me that I can count on u..
But where these promise had gone to..

we had been thru the hard times..
and the happy moments are there to share..
now without u..
I cant seem to find the happy moments..
Even the hard ones I start missing..

As the saying goes nothing last forever..
I once believe in that too..
Love that used to hurt me..
Friends leaving one by one..
Making me not hoping for much..

I remember..
The day when I met u..
My thinking starts changing..
Theres isn’t really nth that wun last forever..
Thru the gd times and bad times we had..
The bond we share..
Our sistership is now strong enough to overcome anything..
Forever we will be..
Friends..
Sisters..
Or whatever u wan to call..
As we go on..
Even if our life change..
We are still together as one..
Forever we will be..
We’ll remember the times we had together..
With a smile across our faces…
[ for mei.. =) ]

jiu shi li bie guo
dang ni zai wo sheng bian shi wo jiu shi bu dong de zhen xizhi dao ni yi jing chong wo de sheng ming li xiao shi houwo cai zheng zheng liao jie dao ni dui wo de zhong yaoxie xie ni cheng jing dai ge wo yi ge hen mei li de gu shiye rang wo liao jie dao shen me shi zhen aixian zai ye zi nen ba zhe ge mei hao de gu shi shen shen chang zai wo nao hai liyi wei wo zhi dao zhe ge gu shi bu hui zai chong yan..woaini~

2005-04-25T21:33:00.000+08:00

slept till quite late today.. din do anything ytd but duno y still so tired..
came online.. on one..
watch tv.. eat.. mother ask me pack things.. watch tv again..
promise mei will study today.. but i din.. im sorry..
juz dun have the mood to study.. later i will.. kk..
seeing frens going to poly le.. life seem great.. gd for them..
today 25 april le.. weiting still haven tell me whether wana join anot..
not going to ask her again.. seem so fan..
suan le.. they have to prepare for exams.. the others preparing for sch reopen.. so forget it..
ok.. tats it..

to all taking mid-yr.. jiayou~

2005-04-23T01:31:00.000+08:00

hmm..
went to meet mei after sch at admiralty go her hse.. den go her hse..
our plan was to wait for her bath then go wdl pt study de.. but but but..
in the end drag drag.. wanted go library.. but but but..
still end up going cwp watch movie.. haha.. samara.. then walk walk.. keep saw sharon and gina.. haha.. then walk here and there lorz.. wana go up le.. saw janice.. den i duno wat they toking ar.. janice like so ji dong like tat.. haha.. nvm..
went up.. the cinema so few ppl.. the show ar.. okok lor.. not bad.. i think quite er also.. den mei ar.. so funny sia.. keep like hide behind her jacket.. haha.. but think she still got watch lah.. haha.. den sometimes she suddenly grab hold of my hand.. scare me sia.. haha..
after the show.. came home le lorz.. blahss..

2005-04-19T21:05:00.000+08:00

back from sch.. the trg.. meet meiru go sch first.. eat mee pok le.. haha.. =p
hmm.. they got the new net.. so gd hor.. last time we still using tat heavy heavy type de.. haha..
den my eyes so damn pain lor.. jo help me with the eyedrop.. but.. like no use leh.. still so pain..
then help mr kheng train train.. abit sian lah.. =x think cant make it as coach de lah.. hah.. then.. tok to ql abt the u19 tournament.. like so pathetic leh us.. our batch so less ppl.. ka sim they start sch le duno free anot.. like tat lor.. think not enough ppl to send out a team ba..
see how lor... deadline think is april 29 ba.. still got a few days.. haha..
den play vball with mr kheng meiru ql.. arg..
my spiking still so sucky.. too far or out de.. sian..

then saw the b gers trg.. wah.. really different from last time we all train de..
so xingku.. but.. they improve alot alot.. then got the jia shi as vball player.. if compare to us.. think we way below them ba.. haha.. jiayou ar u all.. although trg is tough.. but... all is worth it.. =)

then meiru wan go first.. so go with her first lor.. den at admiralty call my mother.. she with my father.. so say wan drive me back.. so wait there lor.. then saw mei.. bus come she go le..
last time live so near sia.. reach admiralty can go up to the house le.. now leh... reach admiralty thinking of still need walk back.. so sian... why muz move.... haha..

2005-04-19T00:25:00.000+08:00

mei... me updating... haha.. kk..
its 12 plus am le.. cant get to slp.. so here i am online again..
nth to do also.. not much ppl online.. juz feel like coming in and listen to songs.. everytime like tat de.. haha..
hmm.. juz now doing maths.. arghhh.. freako ar..
keep forget the formula.. die le.. really really really muz start on it le.. and my sci.. omg.. haven even start.. =x muz get some notes from my frens who going poly de..

since now every tue and thur go back sch.. shall spend rest of the days studying le.. pls.. hope i really can do it.. =x
actually plan to go for the coach course de.. but too bad.. its for 18 yrs and above de.. sad case..
still have to wait lor.. wat else can i do...
go some course..? learn something.. find cc and play vball.. but hard to find eh.. browse thru the net.. dun even see one tat got vball de.. or i duno how to search.. dots... slowly ba..
den tats tis Vas under19 coming out.. hope to join.. but have to pay our own ba.. i count le.. at least need $35 each.. not including making jersey de money yet.. mm... hope can get ming ting sukie they all play.. so so long no play together as a team le..

so so long din get in touch with frens those le.. esp jiayi.. zm they.. wonder how they doing now.. some frenz went for the orientation in poly le.. they had fun.. haha.. too bad for me.. im not going.. yet.. haiz.. theres bad and gd pt lah.. blahs... now still alright.. but when all of them in poly le.. then... blahsss... hah.. nvm..

anyway.. did u all watch last nite de NKF show.. omg.. so sadden man.. those paitents.. den last week i went hospital see my ah ma.. she fall down.. her face.. hand.. all blue black seh.. so ke lian.. and shes so thin.. her legs think are even thinner than my hand.. haiz.. den those patients there.. can only lay down there.. they are too weak to do anything.. ya.. humans are really weak.. once an illness attack them.. wat can they do? nth.. they can only be strong to fight those disease.. they are strong.. really.. if its me.. i duno wat i will do.. will think tat ending is the best choice.. coz why try so hard to survive.. only in the end.. still have to die.. ahah.. but.. really pei fu those paitents.. jiayou!!!! coz no matter wat happen.. life.. it goes on..

why am i talking abt these.. also duno sia.. haha.. nvm..

freko freko.. how do u see those circles de.. how do u see where the tangents is and blah and blah.. hah.. sian.. kk.. back to doing somemore before going to slp.. tml still going back sch.. i wan eat mee pok.. haha.. =x

.nvtoletsomeonefallforu.butuarenottheretocatchthem.coztisfallwillhurt.lotss.

2005-04-17T18:58:00.000+08:00

hmm...
ytd went orchard there watch the pacifer with mei.. ok lah.. not too bad..
but wan watch samara de.. nvm.. next time ya..?
walk ard orchard den went back cwp le..
eat.. walk ard.. blahs.. =D

den today.. juz rot at home.. and i did some of the maths qns.. as wat i promise ming.. haha.. then nth much le ba.. pratically life is like tat ba.. at least for me..
esp when im not going poly tis yr.. how am i going to pass by tis year.. hmm....

and and and.. i noe mei will be reading tis.. coz is she wana me update de..
so........

mei.. jie ai ni.. whaha.. =p

2005-04-13T22:24:00.000+08:00

omg.. tis skin is like so pinkish eh..
but quite like it.. somemore took such a long time to find it.. so took it lor..

tis morning wake up.. whole body so pain sia.. pi gu.. hand.. leg.. then like cannot get up from bed.. so sian.. so i juz kept slping.. till 12 plus.. too long no exercise le.. =x
ytd went back wrs play vball.. saw mingming.. haha.. so long no see le wor.. weiting and sukie also.. happy happy.. haha.. last time used to always together de mah.. so long din get together le..

then play vball.. so hot sia.. maybe too long nve stand in the sun for so long le.. haha..
so wif sukie go gym find ms lim they all.. haiyo.. go in.. everyone say i so fair sia.. is that a gd thing or bad thing.. haha.. esp mei ar.. haiyo.. last time always say le.. haha.. bo bian mah.. now no trg.. ya.. no trg.. then die sia.. like duno how to play vball le.. duno how to spike and serve all tat.. omg.. sian sian..

tml they having trg.. shld i go back..? but.. go back the feelings like so weird lor.. haiz...
see ba.. shld be going back.. already told them will help up le.. yaa..

2005-04-05T22:49:00.000+08:00

sadist coming to blog again..
duno why will keep think tis way..

warning- not for those who believe in love forever thingy or for those in a relationship.. aha.. =x

hmm.. juz tat.. dun think one really need those bgr lor..
coz its like so fake..
today he/she can tell u tat i love u forever.. or blahs blahs..
then something happen and both of u break..
in the next few days.. he/she found someone new.. and could repeat the same things to them..
and so the cycle goes on and on.. haha...
maybe it doesnt apply to all ba.. but from my surrounding ppl.. i have seen alot le..
that makes me think so much.. haha..
so.. never.. never am i putting love in the 1st place..
maybe not having it at all will be better.. haha..

okok.. enough of these for today..

hmm..
wonder my decision of not going poly tis yr worth it anot arz..
so sian.. everybody been asking.. why dun wan go.. waste one yr.. u sure dun wan go.. blah blah..
heard alot of these le lorz.. haiz.. did i make the right choice..?
hope i do ba.. somemore thinking of all frenz go poly le.. den i will be like lag by one year.. blah blah.. nvm.. i wun change my mind.. next yr go jiu next yr ba..
den mr kheng call and ask also.. he say wun force me.. hah.. and he say i can go back sch and play vball.. yeah.. happy.. haha..
tis whole yr.. shall plan abt wat im going to do ba.. going to spend it wisely..

2005-03-27T14:30:00.000+08:00

wah.. so so so long no update le..
bro bring the comp to his hostel and finally its back..
hello.. ? still got anybody there reading..?
haha.. k lah.. who cares..

anyway.. also dun really rem wat happen past few days le..
got work le.. but its so shag.. or can say im weak or lazy ba.. now feel like quitting le sia.. aha..
so sian.. maybe not suitable to work de..
but work there really shag lor.. need to do almost everything..
somemore ytd is do nite de.. full house lor.. so many ppl..
need to serve tis clean tat.. dots.. then the manger..
ok lah.. she quite fun.. but very serious also lor.. strict..
duno ar.. sian.. juz feel like going back to the past.. schooling tat time..
dun need to think of anything.. juz go to sch study can le.. haiz..

hmm.. then later gtg work lor.. holland v there.. duno how to go sia.. so might hav to leave early ba.. work till closing.. duno will work till wat time arz..
like tat ba..
blahss...

2005-03-05T23:28:00.000+08:00

hmm.. went np today..
went to marsiling station there took bus then reach bukit panjang and change one more bus b4 reaching np. reach le still hav to go up the slope. blahs. the location of sch not gd..
the sch food also like shit?
we ate the food was so dry tat makes us hav to buy desert and goes wif the food..
so makes me think wan go tat sch anot.. hah..
den we went the JAE.. the hall was huge and nice..
then they explain to us abt the IT course.. not bad..
the sch environment not bad.. but juz the location ba.. heard if we study there..
can take train to clementi station and theres shutter bus to take us to the sch..
still considering.. haven submit in.. arhh...
den all lazy take bus.. so we took cab back cwp.. dotx..
wonder if go there next time how.. haha.. then the driver kept toking and toking..
tok abt his son wan go poly wat.. then IJC gd oppunitity for us coz new sch.. blahs.. alot ar..
we say nth but juz orh.. orh.. entertaining him.. =x
den went cwp.. play pool.. blahs.. like tat lorz.. sighh..

juz now msg jiayi ask her hows she doing.. she call me..
say retaking 'O' with huiting.. haiz..
den she like going to continue work till may june like tat then start studying..
den the way we tok like very sad like tat.. hah..
i say got time go find u lor.. then she repeat back the same..
den like.. nvm.. duno how to say also..
juz tat some things really is not going to remain the same anymore ba.. yupx..
miss schooling times.. haiz..
den like tat lorz..

so sian now also lorz..
hmm.. then wan retake mah.. then they dun believe i will make it lorz..
im going to prove to them.. hope can lorz..
den.. nvm lah..
like tat lorz..

-my life-

juz passing by each day till the day i die .
=)

2005-03-04T23:45:00.000+08:00

Wah seh..
Wrote so much and the thing got error..
Yucks.. same as tat bitch.. no.. shes even worse.. ok.. shall not tok abt her..

Im going to repeat wat I say once again..

"---
take a knife and stab it thru my heart .
let me hav no feelings and be numb .
so that I wun feel hurt THAT MUCH..

tis simply means when u are been stab by the knife thru the heart,
it hurts .
but the pain and hurt I feel now is much more than the pain been stab.
So I rather im being stab and have no feeling so that I wun feel the pain im feeling now..
Nice hor..? hahaha.. copyrighted =x

Whats the real purpose of life?
Eventually we will still die..
So wats the point of trying so hard..
Suffer and gone..
But that doesn’t happen to all ppl ba..
Some are living happily in their life..
Knowing tat one day they are going to die..
They make the fullest out of it..
With frenz ard them.. theres still things for them to enjoy..
Blahs blahs.. maybe.. maybe..

The world dun need me.. im juz alone..
i make no differences to anything.
Take me away and isolate me..
Away from everything..

Hmm.. retaking some subs as private .
Im going to study real hard for my maths now.. aiming for an A.. if I can lorz..
Regret not starting earlier last yr le.. given a chance now hope I can do it lor..
As for another sub..
Still thinking wan retake sci or humans..
Sci seem more impt..
But still got practical rite.. almost forgotten how to do le lor..
So might be retaking humans ba.. see how lor..
Still got time to consider..

As for the poly courses..
Haven submit the form ar..
Ytd keep trying to get into the web..
Lucky they extend ar.. if not die le..
Should be choosing DIT ba..
A risk also lor.. coz need 24 pts to get in.. I got 25.. dotx..
So if im cant get into tis choice.. think I will chose not to go poly 1st ba..
Some will say stupid why go waste one yr..
But if its not my interest.. I go also no use mah..
Ya lor.. as for wat poly..
Still thinking ba.. ngee ann? Nanyang? Singapore? Or even temasek ..
Haha.. quite a few of my vball frenz going TP.. but too far le ba..
I still got a bit more time to think abt..
Tml maybe going np see see..
Then going to decide le..

thought of going for vball coaching course beside poly de..
At least another route for me if I cant make it in poly.. hah..
But its hard been a coach..
will the course have height requirement de ar? =x
Hope not ar..
also got thought of going overseas to study de..
but.. juz thinking only.. no $ .. hah..

“Do not identify yourself with troubled thoughts. Do not say 'I am scared,' or, 'I am gloomy.' Instead say, 'A scene is passing through my mind, but it is not part of my true self.' When you say this, you declare the Cosmic Truth. It is the truth even if you do not presently feel that it is so. See it clearly and the genuine feeling follows”

thats wat im feeling now ba.. but that’s not my true self
duno why I will feel tis way too..
why…

---the feelings I dread most is here..
hate tis .
who can u trust in tis world.. maybe no one..
not even urself..
----im trying hard..
trying hard to believe everything..
trying hard to believe tat all is not true..
but im juz trying..
--the world is changing..
everything ard it is changing..
things ard me will change too.. im sure of tat..

I dun wan to feel tat way..
so juz let me be numb .
so that I wun get hurt THAT MUCH .

-sadist thinking . hah . haiz . I walk alone .-

2005-03-03T23:14:00.000+08:00

damn piss by some ppl out there..
who think the team cant survive without her..
giving tis excuse.. she win.. watever.. sucks.. the world dun need her to live .
juz go to hell . arghh.

but maybe im juz spoiling everything ba. creating more trouble for them . esp wt.
shes in a difficult position. haiz.. sorry..

really dun wish to see the team juz gone like tat. tat bitch..
TOK BIG.. make ming and jan. esp. jasz... argh.. shes an idoit. freako..
sucks sucks sucks..

DULAN!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

2005-02-28T12:58:00.000+08:00

haizz.. 25 pts for L1R4..
i shld be happy..? maybe ba..
but.. look thru the booklet.. alot of courses i cant get into..
i wanna go business IT.. dun wan engineering..
haiz.. mr kheng.. arghh...

stupid sis.. i juz reach home.. she see the news say other ppl score so well..
then she see mine.. there shake head..
of coz lah.. other ppl raffles de .. watever de.. den so sucks lor..
watever.. den she throw my result slip on the floor..
.. wah seh.. she think she wat.. damn angry lor.. shout back..
mother also at there keep nag and nag.. say wat cant den retake lor.. blahs.. make me feel so....
arghh.. haiz.. watever.. do i have a family at all.....

nvm.. im happy.. i pass my eng and maths.. finally.. hah...
thanks frenz who been there.. and my honey for the honey.. haha..
congrats to those who get gd results.. =)

regrets.. but all too late... no use..

2005-02-28T02:00:00.000+08:00

haix.. cant slp.. so come online lor..
see quite few ppl still online.. esp 4e5ers.. haha.. all anxious abt tml ba i think..
all in one conv and tok rubbish.. gd thing ba.. calming each other down.. aha..
scary leh.. although i keep say wan retake.. actually really concern abt the result also lor..
spend 4 yrs juz for tis day.. though admit din really work hard.. but maths.. i did lor.. scary..
haiz.. see how ba.. mother also say if hav to retake also bo bian.. felt such a failure..? haiz.. regret not studying well.. but all is too late..

hmm.. wana thanks my baobei mei mei.. my honey ming.. and those frens who msg me..
thanks for ur luck.. heez.. *touched =D

wonder later get on bed still can get to slp anot..
stomach pain again.. argh.. sian..

so quiet in the night now.. mei mei slp le..
online de ppl all also duno go where le..
was browsing thru the net.. omg..
some of the ppl are so bitchy..
hate them.. and some are so.. act..? argh..
forget it.. they sucks..

going to treasure and cherish everything now..
everything is hard to come by..
especially those true and sincere one..
who knows wat is going to happen the next min..
no matter wat is going to happen..
i treasure everything..
coz i believe.. ~

12 hrs to the hall.. gd luck everyone..

2005-02-24T15:30:00.000+08:00

few days since i last update..
who cares anyway..
ytd nite cant slp so watch dvd.. till ard 5 plus..
jurassic park 3 and pearl harbour.. both show are taking away ppl life.. esp. pearl harbour.. watching them being bomb by the japs.. alive.. sadden.. life is so weak..
was laying on bed.. till quite long b4 i can get to slp ba..
the agent had been calling me alot of time.. i was sleeply.. so heck and went back to slp..
maybe theres jobs available ba.. maybe.. going to wait for result b4 finding any job..
recieve call from my bro and tis really wakes me up..
was told tat result will be release on mon..
argh.. sucks.. was hoping it will be fri..
spending more days worrying abt it now..
mon and it will be rush too.. hav to decide and go apply for JAE the next day i think..
fri at least got the wk end to think..
and ya.. theres BRD going ard now..
stand for Before Result Depression..
waha.. duno how to explain it.. u see it and u will noe..
started it since ytd.. and it gets ppl pek cek.. =x
hmm.. hav a plan now..
going to decide on the course i really wan to go to..
and if my result cant make it.. im going to retake o..
but.. it will be hard i guess.. see how ba..

l.i.f.e s.u.c.k.s

2005-02-19T16:37:00.000+08:00

bored..
bored..
bored..
bored..
going to be bored to death le..
ahh.. so siannn....

2005-02-17T20:15:00.000+08:00

morning went lavender wif frenx to the agency to fill the application form for de stupid count car job.. reach there the person say cannot so many ppl.. im not interested in the job anyway..
so i say i will be the back up.. den din follow them to paya layba.duno the spelling..
so take train alone and went yck.. wana see them play de.. but reach there.. they finish le..
argh.. so follow sch bus went back sch lorx..
den help coach train the sec 1s..
they greeted me.. good afternoon ms ho sia.. omg.. they hao you li mao.. aha..
den train train lor.. so long no go back sch play le.. happy ba.. aha..
hmm.. then like tat lor..
den some things.. haiz.. sian... nvm.. dun feel like saying.. juz the feeling kinda sucks..
life sucks anyway.. ya..
hmm.. ms lim noe when the result is coming out sia.. but she dun wan tell me.. yucks..
nvm lor.. like she say.. when come out its the same.. u are going to take it anyway..
why noe and make urself worry..
go enjoy these few days.. aha.. its coming to change our life.. one piece of paper..
its either on the 25th or 28th ba..
getting nearer and nearer..
oh ya.. huiting funny sia.. she dream of herself getting 33 pts.. somemore she dream twice lorx..
den duno who dream of ppl getting 5 pts.. 9 pts..
all too stress ar.. can dream of tis.. haha..
maybe i soon.. dream of me getting... hm...
started blogging at 8.15.. leaving tis open so tat i can write again when i thought of anything else.. coz so sian.. so i will juz go on and on..
ok.. think u all also sian of reading my blog le.. nvm...
i will still go on and on..
lame.. aha..
getting tired of things le.. blahs... not physically.. but mentally..
10.20pm.. leaving tis page on for 2 hrs le..
oh ya.. li sheng jie song not bad.. shou fang kai.. =)
arm so suan.. muz be too long no spike so much le.. hah..

2005-02-16T01:20:00.000+08:00

juz bath..
came back from huiting hse and its her bday ytd..
before tat went to highlight my hair..
ugly i think.. yes it is..
den went k box.. and boring.. yesh.. it is..
duno y.. haix.. did not enjoy is all i can say..
den went eat and went huiting hse le..
tok tok..
and they are playing poker cards on the corridoor..
10 plus ppl there..
piang.. den ting's parents come back and shifted to her hse and play..
nve stop playing de..
den quite sian lor..
nth to do lor...
everyone changed so much le..
bey.. wag.. zy.. all.. almost all the chi in the cls..
den was at there think.. really miss those times during classes.. haix..
den they say wan go le go le.. still at there gamble..
hahax.. thats the only thing tat nve change ba..
den we went home... wag stay near me mah..
so walked home together lor...
and hes good.. send me to the bus stop.. at least he bother..
thx.. haha..

life seem to be boring and more boring..
coz i duno wat my future behold..
i duno wat am i living for now..
everything is changing..
ppl.. things..
everything.. haix..
its getting no meaning..
anymore..~

2005-02-13T01:53:00.000+08:00

hmm..
change my blogskin.. nice mah? haha..
tis blogskin consists of different kind of love.. u.. me.. frenx..
basically its all abt love.. hah.. think im crapping here.. its almost 2 in the morning u noe..
the pic wif vball gers is like so.. how to say.. "ji" in chi..
jux wana put tis pic coz u guys rawks.. yea..
haha..

oh ya.. i lost 60 plus in playing blackjack wif my relatives today..
60 plus tats alot.. *cries.. there goes my money.. byebye..
haha.. nvm.. chi new yr once a yr..
lucky i still hav some of my salary left.. if not im going to be broke..

quite a tired day today.. alot of relatives come my hse.. mother side de.. father side de..
my cousins are all grown up.. last time see them still small small de..
now.. wah.. grown so tall le..
time files.. im 17 tis yr.. 17.. 17.. 17.. haha...
dotss.. buaix..

2005-02-12T01:44:00.000+08:00

juz back home.. hav a bath..
my day..
afternoon went play pool wif my bro..
and i lost 6-0 to him.. malu..
haha.. and i hav to pay for the game lors..
awhile then go home le..
janice they actually plan to come my hse play mahjong but sudden cannot..
so change..
ming ying and me went orchard instead..
went there the shop almost all close..
we bought nth there i guess..
no.. huiming bought one curry puff and one yam cake from old chang kee..
haha.. laming.. and we went HMV buy cds lor.. nth else..
after tat came back admiralty and we went ming's hse..
play play mahjong awhile wif ming mother..
so paiseh.. i din bring orange and get an hongbao.. paiseh ar huiming..
den went her room.. and keep take pic.. haha..
finally i did something since the 1st day of new yr ba..
sat le.. and mei will be back on sun? yupx.. hope she did enjoy herself these few days..
hmm.. so late le.. sian.. duno y dun feel like slping also..
my plan for tml..
duno.. so sian.. haiz..
think aunty they coming my hse.. boringgg...
see got any place can go.. blahs..

2005-02-10T18:49:00.000+08:00

2nd day of new yr..
still stuck at home.. dun feel like going anywhere too..
maybe janice they later coming my hse play mahjong.. still waiting for ming's reply.. where are u..??
so late le.. dun think u all can le.. next time ba.. anytime after sch when u all wan come tell me lorx..
janice.. ur hair so cute ehx.. haha.. dun worry lah.. will grow back de..
but now also looks nice on u.. =)
surfing the web looking thru the courses.. so far only look for ngee ann de.. see le also headache ar.. so many course.. and i saw tis business course.. hmm.. doubt i can get in.. see ba.. look thru others first..
not working le.. will be spending time at home clearing up the hse..
looking thru the different course in poly..
things tat i wanted to do..
will have the time to go see the gers play in the tournament too..
so jiayou.. as the nick in u all say.. "we'll nve say die"
yupx.. rawks on..

2005-02-09T16:28:00.000+08:00

happy new yr everyone~!
ok.. im so sian.. going to crap alot..
1st time of my life on the 1st day of new yr din go anywhere to bai nain..
parents go genting..
gd thing is dun hav to wake up so early..
bad thing.. damn sian..
ytd went ah ma hse.. eat lor.. did i eat anything..? too many ppl le.. sian.. my cousin and i counted.. plus the maid of my aunt.. got 37 ppl.. wah.. in a small hse..
and we ke lian lor.. stand outside.. every yr like tat lah.. den they will say say lor.. i fatter le? oops.. jian fei... haha.. den say i change alot.. think my hairstyle or wat ba.. blahs..
hmms.. got my cousin those.. one boy.. cute ehz.. keep play wif him.. haha..
mei mei ytd online arz.. sian sia.. i din noe.. tot no one will be online de.. so din come in le lor..
sian sian..
juz now keep watch tv nia lor.. play cards wif bro and his gf.. win my bro money.. 10 plus.. haha.. his gf win 40 plus of his money sia.. ke lian.. haha.. den now no ppl at home le.. they went put ba nian.. im alone.. haiyo.. why sound so pathetic on a new yr.. haiz.. nvm..
juz now watch the S.H.E duno why thing special arz.. den saw the mv of their song Wo Ai Ni..
gan dong.. the guy waited for the gal for 40 yrs le.. alone he wait..
but the gal already married.. wif sons and daughter.. she found him 40 yrs later since they left each other.. the gal decide to go back to the guy.. her husband let her go..
so gan dong hor.. for the guy.. wei le ai.. wei le ta.. he waited for so long..
and the man who let the gal go.. too wei da le.. he let the gal go back to the guy.. big decision he make.. wah.. haha..
such a short mv got so many things.. think i too sian le.. tats y think so much of the mv..
blahs.. going to write a long blog..
hmm.. wat can i write.. hmm..
mind is blank at the moment.. thought of anything later then come back write ba.
haha.. byee..

2005-02-08T14:28:00.000+08:00

hmms..
happy chi new yr eve!~
new year.. new beginning..
juz now went back sch.. get back the feeling of sching in sch..
the teachers in sch like more friendly towards us le.. haha..
went in and watch the performance.. ms lim cute lehz.. haha..
den saw alot of frenz whom long long time no seen le.. =)
after the performance got the bazzar thing..
went ard look look see see lor.. took pic.. haha..
then ppl keep ask me buy things sia.. dots.
and got one boy.. think sec 1 de..
noe wat he say..
"hello aunty" blahss.. wah.. gek dao.. dun wan help him buy le..
haha.. who ask him start wif a wrong word.. =x
after tat went eat wif mei and jo..
den mei and jo need go home le..
i went cwp play two game of pool go le.. haha.. sian..
nth to do le lor.. now back home.. later going ah ma hse..
more boring i guess..
mei went malaysia le.. so many days.. haiyo.. sian...
hope she enjoy herself lor.. yupx.. miss u arz..
huiming.. waiting for 28 and mahjong!! haha.. miss those times when we play together..
free tell me kk..
ok.. take care all.. and have a great new yr holiday..~

2005-02-05T02:24:00.000+08:00

now past 12md.
ok.. finally its sat.. work on sun and mon and i can haf a gd rest..
so useless.. work for a mth plus bth le..
but nvm.. i admit.. i need the rest.. need the time to do other things too..
realise nid to do alot of things..
not working means the time will pass by quite slow too.. its a gd thing coz im scared to move to 2802.. but maybe going back to work either on 22 or 28..
they will call me back if need ppl..

ytd which is fri.. piss off by the boss and someone..
been sent back to pilot line coz they need ppl help..
its a last min work lor.. need to rush 300 plus x box to give to customer in abt 3 hrs wif only two ppl doing.. wt lor.. den do do lor.. den the someone keep ask me do tis do tat.. and she sit down there shuang shuang do the test only..
company today got celebration for cny.. all the ppl ouside.. and the two of us inside the room doing the job.. so ke lian like tat..
den kena say by ppl why dun wan join them..
i haf to follow tat someone mah.. im juz a TEMP staff.. hah..
somemore actually i 5 can go le.. she ask me work till 5.45 wif her..
nvm.. forget it.. juz so piss.. everytime last min thing.. den haf to rush..

worth to be happy things.. ok.. i get a hongbao from the company.. $10..
haha.. not bad.. blahs..
den 545 i go di siao tis guy work at 5th floor de.. he cute lehz..
but too bad lah.. taken.. haha.. =x coz he need work ot till 8.. den we today dun need work ot..
so we all go say bye infront of him and he gek dao..
haha.. hes cute..

time.. 2.40.. juz had my dinner at 1 plus.. still very full.. wait awhile den slp ba..
mei.. jie really miss u..
and all of u..

take care and happy holiday`soon..~

2005-01-29T21:59:00.000+08:00

been one week since i last update..
wat can i update.. im not sure too..
juz tat im tired.. really tired... tml sun and i still need to work.. sucks isnt it.. waking up
at 6 in a sunday morning.. nvm.. feb 7.. jiayou shirui.. lame.. hah..
think im going deaf soon.. ppl tok i keep 'huh'..
cant hear wat are they toking.. die.. muz be work.. coz the whole day was wearing the headphone and listen to some music.. and its classical music.. omg.. zzZz..
tats the most tiring thing ba.. u sit down there staring at the pc for at least 6 mins or more.. and u are so tired but u cant do anything at all.. eyes wanted to close but cant.. relax
juz sitting down there? try it and u will noe.. jiayou to myself again..
rubbish lah.. haiz.. bye~

take care all..

2005-01-23T13:12:00.000+08:00

two more weeks..
endure for two more weeks and im free again..
juz dun feel like working there anymore.. when all the ppl are gone..
leaving me and one person left.. the ppl in that department are great.. misses them..
when i go up to qa.. it will be stress i think.. sat and sun need to work too i suppose..
also tired of getting up so early in the morining.. no diff from sch life..
but duno wat i will be doing two weeks later..
slacking will be back again.. and..
chinese new year coming..
after tat soon wil be taking of 'O' level result.. omg..
dun dare think much..~

*....yi tian yi tian de guo qu
rang wo bu zhi que de dui ni you xie gan jue
ni ye rang ta chong wo de nao hai li jian jian de xiao shi
dan shi wo hai bu zhi dao zhe xie shi fo zhen shi
wo de que ding hui shi she me
ying wei wo hai pai
hai pai zhe yi qie dou zhi shi yi chang meng....*

2005-01-19T19:39:00.000+08:00

hmms..
today 0company got the sale.. where everyone in philips can get their product at a very gd price..
den 10 plus tea break like tat went down to see..
alot of ppl sia.. then my working frenz they wana go see mah..
so go together lor.. i say say wan buy hi fi nia.. den she help me go 'snatch'.. haha.. coz alot of ppl snatching mah.. if not dun haf le..
i stand there wait lor.. and she came back wif the hi fi..
wah..
i say say only and she really bring one..
den the price not bad.. actually is 400 plus one.. but now can get it at 200.. worth it lor..
called my mother and she say anything me lor..
den i go withdraw money.. argh... like tat 1st week pay gone le..
buaiz.. haha.. den bought it lor.. heart pain pain..
1st time i bought such things wif my own money.. somemore is spent over 100 de.. ..
den evening like tat parents come send me back.. shun bian bring the hi fi back..
den say say ask mother help me pay half.. den she agree.. haha.. lucky.. got my 100 back.. =p
but they bad sia.. wana go duno where ar.. den ask me take train go back on my own..
drop me at bishan.. eee... tot can shuang shuang sit in the car and reach home le..
nvm lor.. came home taking the train..
blahs.. tired.. shoulder very suan..
work work and work..

wo gai bu gai xiang xing ni.. haiz.. ~

2005-01-16T13:26:00.000+08:00

Been working for a week plus le..
Love my working environment... ppl all very friendly.. but wonder how its going to be like when I go up to qa.. duno..
No sch… so sian.. I miss a lot of things.. esp. vball.. training times.. and of coz frenz..
Huiming.. weiting.. sukie.. mei.. Janice.. lots more.. haiz.. and susu coach.. ! ya..
Also so long no see jiayi they all le.. all busy working.. when they off.. I working.. blahs..
Sian.. Life seem so boring and sucks..
But.. compare to those ppl.. the waves thingy.. im fortunate..
Very fortunate..
They all so ke lian.. so many ppl died..
Haiz... life is so unpredictable.. . blahs..

jiu shi li bie guo dang ni zai wo sheng bian shi wo jiu shi bu dong de zhen xi
zhi dao ni yi jing chong wo de sheng ming li xiao shi hou
wo cai zheng zheng liao jie dao ni dui wo de zhong yao
xie xie ni cheng jing dai ge wo yi ge hen mei li de gu shi
ye rang wo liao jie dao shen me shi zhen ai
xian zai ye zi nen ba zhe ge mei hao de gu shi shen shen chang zai wo nao hai li
yi wei wo zhi dao zhe ge gu shi bu hui zai chong yan..
woaini~

2005-01-14T19:07:00.000+08:00

eh..
today end early.. coz the company got the dinner at night.. knock off at 5.25.. 20 mins earlier.. haha..
my project manger.. andy.. he cute sia.. tok abit like gal de..
coz he need to copy down something from the comp, den very fast mah.. he cant catch.. den at there keep toking to himself sia.. bth.. and his favourite two word.. "very good".. haha.. coz everytime some part is finished.. he happy mah..
den today.. my supervisor.. tok to me abt her life experience.. wah.. she small small thin thin in size.. din noe she so li hai one..
9 yrs old started smoking..
den did alot of jobs b4.. sales.. bartender.. alot arz..
den she also say got 'kang' izzit hacked? ya.. people b4 sia.. not kill lah.. haha..
her life last time.. duo zi duo cai.. haha..
but tats all past le.. since she started working in factory.. changed le ba.. quit smoking.. blahs..
hmm.. everyone hav their past.. since its all over now le.. no point in thinking abt it anymore.. let it go.. wats impt now is the present.. reality..~

2005-01-11T22:59:00.002+08:00

\..regrets../-one sad story...

It was crowded. Joan was sitting alone in the bus. At Avenue 4, the bus stopped for passengers to board the bus. Joan did not realize that her god sis had boarded the bus and was sitting beside her until she startled Joan with “hey, where are you going?” Next to Debbie were a guy and a gal, who were sitting close to each other. They were Debbie’s friends.
They were going to the same destination, and so alighted together. Joan only said one word to the guy. “Hi!” That was the first time they had met.

A few days later, Joan met the guy again. Not face to face, but online. They began to chat. His name was Adrian. Soon, they had exchanged handphone numbers and began sending each other SMSs. This went on for quite some time. One month later, Adrian admitted to Joan that he had a crush on her. However, as Adrian lived in the east and Joan lived in the west, it was not easy for them to meet often. Adrian was nevertheless relentless in his pursuit Joan, even if it meant traveling to the other end of the island just to meet her. Joan was deeply touched, but she didnt accept him.

One day, Joan found out that the gal beside Adrian when they first met was Adrians ex-girlfriend Joan heard that she wanted to reconcile with him. It was the first time she felt that Adrian meant something to her. Adrian assured Joan that he was not going intending to reconcile with his ex-girlfriend.

One night, Adrian asked Joan for the umpteenth time to be his girlfriend. After some time consideration, she finally agreed. Unfortunately, their relationship did not last for long. A few weeks later, Adrian chatted with Joan online. Adrian asked Joan if she really liked him. Not knowing how to answer, she gave replied with a joke. This made Adrian unhappy, as he felt that she does not seriously love him. He needed someone who was more serious toward him. Disappointed, he ended the chat with Joan abruptly. It was the first time Joan cried for a guy. Adrian cried as well, though he did not really understand why. It was to be the last time they chatted with each other.

Joans life, as well as Adrians, carried on normally. Joan heard rumors that Adrian had reconciled with his ex-girlfriend. Although she was sincerely happy for him, she felt sour about it.

Two years have passed since they last met. Joan was 16 yrs old now, and she felt more matured. Occasionally, she was alone at night, memories still flashed through her mind. They were of the happy moments when she was still together with Adrian. Tears would begin to flow all of a sudden. Her heart ached whenever she thought about it.This went on for a long period of time, and she found that she missed him more as each day went by. She realized that she was actually in love with him. But it was all too late now. Perhaps she was too young to realize the meaning of true love then. Now she did, but Adrian’s heart belonged to someone else now.

It was rumored that Adrian broke off with his girlfriend when he found someone new. Was he a flirt? It was not long before they became together.

The days that Joan was left with were numbered.
She had cancer.. with only a few months to live..
She wanted to tell Adrian how much she regretted the day he left her..
She wanted so much to..
But she couldnt..
Because she didn’t want to come in btw them..
Knowing that they were so much in love with each other now..
All she could do was to pen her heartaches and sorrows in a little note book.. her diary..

She was getting weaker as the days passed.. still she never failed to write in her diary..
On the last day before she died.. she could no longer write anymore..
But she wanted to write her last entry.. which was the most important of all..
So she asked Debbie to help fulfill her last wish..
The entry went like this..
Dear diary,
after this entry I will no longer be able to write any more..
till this day im still missing him..
though he came into my life for only that short period of time..
and I do not know why my feelings for him are so strong.. but it juz is..
he is the first guy for whom I have felt this way..
I love him
God bless him and... ...

Tears dropped onto the book. They belonged to Adrian. Debbie had passed the book to him as she wanted Adrian to know how much Joan had once loved him. Joan could not continue her words as she failed to catch her breath for the last time.
Adrian wept..
He wrote behind Joans last entry..
Dear Joan,
My heart hurts a lot.
Coz the reason is I still love you.
After our last chat, I miss you a lot.
I didnt come back and find u is becoz I know that u will not accept me again.. I dun wan to get hurt again..
I get back to my ex is becoz I use her as a sub.
I break off with her becoz I found out that no one could ever replace u..
Why didnt u come back and find me.....
By now the paper was soaked with Adrians tears.

2005-01-10T23:39:00.000+08:00

hmm..
updating.. everyday almost the same routine.. wake up.. go work..
tis morning almost late.. morning all students going sch.. adults going work.. me tis not student not adult de go work also.. haha.. then very crowded lor.. somemore the bus so long.. waittt... lazy to walk to admiralty.. too tired.. haha..
train also crowded.. i see all almost adult.. den i stand there like so werid.. coz they got the 'working people' look.. i dun haf.. haha.. =x
reach.. start work.. do the testing of those motor.. hand pain.. now is abit of my skin from my finger come out le.. yucks.. haha.. towards end of the day.. i do the tray thing where the disc is being placed.. btw.. did i mention i doing on the product xbox? haha.. ya lor.. doing on tat.. din know that one simple xbox inside can be so complicated de.. wonder will the company give me one.. *dreaming*..
blahs.. heard some of the ppl working there de going shanghai tis wed.. den my supervisor going on the 20+.. den also duno left who working at tat place le.. they say wan send me to QA.. but i duno wan go anot.. actually work there not bad.. but the supid agency.. argh.. dun wana say tis le.. so.. see lor.. thinking wan continue work anot..
work ot again lor.. since the day i start work till now.. tired sia.. can break down soon..
haha.. ok.. im tired.. waiting for my hair to dry.. zZzzz..